The Daily Honky Tonk 186th Edition

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The Daily Honky Tonk
186th Edition
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
6:32 PM

So, I’ve returned to Provo. Not much else to say there. Provo is pretty much my home at this point. Going home is visiting. It was nice though. It was good to be around family. It was nice to learn a lot more about my parents that I didn’t know. I love learning from people’s experiences. Experiences are in my mind the best teacher. They illustrate best what we have learned. Principles are nice, but they are so wide and not specific. Principles applied to specific experiences teach me things that I wouldn’t understand otherwise.
The family reunion on the farm was excellent. It was so nice to see family. It’s nice to be older and to understand better the varying personalities and watch how they interact. Families are some of the greatest teachers I know.
I’m digging into myself and trying to understand some things. I’m hoping writing will help. I hope that as you read, you will have experiences you can share with me personally or publically that have helped you.

Patience

Two of the main topics that I study in the Gospel are patience and charity. I can always use a lot more of both of these.
I’m out of school until fall semester. I have over a month where I’ll just be working a few hours a day. I’m used to keeping myself so incredibly busy that I don’t usually have any time for myself. Now that I have all this time for myself, I’m tempted to fill it back up . . .but I think the Lord wants me to learn to relax. To be patient with life and accept the pace of life and not how I hectically try to live it.
I was about to pick up a book today, when I saw the Ensign sitting on my roommates computer and the headling “Slowing Down and Putting God First”. Those who put God first slow down I wandered? I keep trying to dedicate all my actions and thoughts and life choices to Him and to do as much as I can for my Heavenly Father. In short, I picked up the article and read it.
This part stuck out to me the most- the subtitle was :Don’t be in a hurry to Fill Your Days with “Busyness”
“A national journalist shared the following blunt assessment: “A good Mormon is a busy Mormon.” A historian has also observed that “in Mormon culture . . .action is esteemed over contemplation.” Noting the Church’s mandate to prepare the world for the Millennium, the author wondered if our sense of “urgency, [initially] fed by noble purposefulness, [might] morph into busyness.
It is true that we have work enough to do, but when it comes to busyness, we may be taking our cues from the world rather than the Lord and His servants.” Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles cautioned us against a “frantic, heedless busyness . . . [that often] crowds out contemplation and . . . leaves no time for renewal.” He likened thoughtful “intervals between [our] tasks” to “the green belts of grass, trees, and water that . . . Interrupt the asphalt,” and he said that when we “plan some time for contemplation and renewal,” we will feel drawn to our work instead of driven to it.
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Quorum of the Twelve observed how easily we fill our lives with “appointments, meetings, and tasks” and then act frightened at the prospect of some quiet time. Why would that be? He feared that we might “feel that the busier we are, the mor important we are – as though our busyness defines our worth.” On another occasion, he reminded us that “being busy is not necessarily being spiritual” - for in fact, noise and busyness can actually crowd out the still, small voice of the Spirit”.
President Gordon B. Hinckley prescribed a remedy for this fever of busyness: meditation, or pondering, or introspection. President Hinckley recalled that his father “never ceased growing” because he made time for thinking, meditating, [and] pondering.” You may have to turn off your TV, computer, cell phone, or MP3 Player, but it’s worth it. As Sister Bonnie D. Parkin, former Relief Society general president, put it: “take time to slow down and ponder so that you can feel the Lord’s love for you.”

I like this article, but I have some questions on application of the principles:
I do more than enough contemplation and pondering - my parents have told me that multiple times . . In fact one of the lessons that I felt was most important for me was “stop thinking and just act”. . . While I am very well aware of the power of pondering and contemplation and believe it is good. . .there are times when contemplation and pondering is so stressful for me that I would prefer to be busy and not to have to think. Any suggestions for replacements?
How does one renew? I’m so used to not taking time for myself and thinking that most of the time my needs are selfish . . . How and what is renewal like?
It says if we relax we will feel drawn to our work. I think this could apply to a lot of other parts of our life. Sometimes I feel like I have to keep myself driven to things. .. I feel like a lot of things don’t draw me and I have to find within myself my own power. . . Else I have always considered that if I didn’t press myself, I would run from most things just because its so much work and energy. . . Oh the fears and the anxieties of life. Can anyone relay an experience in which they learned how to let go and then were drawn to things more naturally?
What are some ways you handle your own stresses?

“Patience is the capacity to endure delay, trouble, opposition, or suffering without becoming angry, frustrated, or anxious. It is the ability to do God’s will and accept His timing. When you are patient, you hold up under pressure and are able to face adversity calmly and hopefully. Patience is related to hope and faith – you must wait for the Lord’s promised blessings to be fulfilled.
You need patience in your everyday experiences and relationships, especially with your companion. You must be patient with all people, yourself included, as you work to overcome faults and weaknesses.” (PMG)
**I have read this quote over and over again to remind myself that being anxious and frustrated and angry is not the feeling Heavenly Father intends me to have. Usually it has to do with my want for control over my life. I’ve watched lots of people who suffer because they just let life happen to them. The extreme is that they feel like they have no control over their life or what is happening or what they are feeling. Most of us go back and forth between the two. I could learn a little about letting some parts of life just happen to me.

“Strive to love as He loves, with unfailing compassion, patience, and mercy.”
**I struggle to love myself with mercy. Mercy means giving people the benefit of the doubt. Generally they mean the best things and even if they do stupid things they aren’t usually intending to hurt another person. Life, feelings, making choices are all difficult . . . Part of mercy is being patient while waiting to understand, to grow, and to change. I beat myself up for not making changes or growing fast enough.

“Others seek only to have fun in life. With this as their main goal, they allow temporary pleasure to distract them from lasting happiness. They rob themselves of the enduring joys of spiritual growth, service, and hard work.”
**I think busyness is the other extreme of this .. .in my mind, only do things that are joys that come through endurance. . .only spiritually grow, only serve others the best you know how, only work hard. I struggle to give myself time to just enjoy some parts of life . . . I tend to think that my time is spent selfishly when I’m not working for something outside of me. However, after reading about Winston Churchill (who was so effective as an individual partially because he knew how to completely relax when he took time to relax) and realizing that this is not a healthy attitude. .. I could really use some experiences and stories about doing things for oneself and the blessing that came from it.


I liked this quote I found that Amy sent me, I wrote it down in my journal one day when I was trying to work past some troubles through writing.
“The greatest handicap: Fear
The best day: Today
The worst bankruptcy: Loss of enthusiasm
The hardest thing: To begin”

The Editor,
Mark

The Daily Honky Tonk 185th Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
185th Edition
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
10:08 AM

Being Home

Our road trip was a good chance to take time to talk and learn as a family. As we were returning to Illinois late in the evening on Saturday we were playing a family discussion game. The question card said to talk about your earliest child hood memories. It was fun to see who remembered what early on. I love learning about people. I read a biography about Churchill and I’m working on McCullough’s massive John Adam’s biography. As I’ve gotten older, its nice to get new stories about my parents life that they haven’t shared with me before. I gain new insights into life and understand more where they came from and how life changes, develops, and grows. One of the most interesting conversations was on Sunday as I was fighting a battle with my anxiety and perfectionism.
My parents started digging into what I was like as a child and helping me remember that some things may not be completely changeable in me because we are born with certain traits. This idea helped in me in the battles of life in which I struggle to love myself. I find myself asking how can I feel so much love for others and believe so much that God loves them, but not believe I can be loved? It’s rather hypocritical on my part. Anyway, I’m getting away from what I want to talk about. I was the first child, and my parents said they were a lot more controlling. However, I would go toe to toe with them on things. When I knew what I wanted, I fought for it. They said it took about five years until they could finally learn that I needed to be presented choices and then to let me make the choice on my own. Things didn’t go well if they backed me into a corner and I didn’t have the choices. If they wanted me to do something, they would have to find several different ways I could do it that were reasonable to them and then present me with the choice. Once I was making the decision I could choose and do what I wanted within there parameters and I felt my need of choosing and doing what I wanted was in my control.
They commented that both Caleb and I have a talent for getting what we want. We know how to field the right questions and we both know appropriately how to press into people’s comfort zones. We both know how to phrase our questions in ways that don’t challenge people or push too far. However, my parents say I’m more likely to go toe to toe with someone fighting for the things I want. Caleb is better at leaving things alone when he knows he won’t be able to get it. I take a lot longer to realize that I can’t get something.
I saw that over the years, this may have developed into a parenting skill that my parents have that I appreciate the most. Their ability to talk to me about choices and give me a clear view of several choices. I used to struggle a lot if anyone told me what to do. By giving me choices and laying out the consequences they always left the choice in my power. From the outside world most people would say my parents are fairly controlling. My parents actually agree in a lot of ways, and know that at times all their children would agree. However, most of the time I don’t feel they are controlling, but rather they bestow wisdom upon me that usually leads me to make a good choice anyway. I still like having my own choices. I think I have become a lot better follower. I’ve had to fight to become that way. I don’t like the pressure that comes when I feel like I’m being told I have to do something. But, I’ve learned to let that feeling go and when it doesn’t matter to just do what people want. However, generally, I still want control. I like leading. I like being in the power to make decisions. But I work hard to use the same thing my parents taught me. You don’t control the people to do what you want. You give them choices, you lay out the consequences, and then you let them decide. But, there are always “buts”, there are times when you just have to tell people what to do and hold them to that.
Maybe when it comes down to it, this is why I am sometimes obsessed about knowing what people want. I try and figure out what people really want in their life. I don’t care what it is, but I know I can’t be of much service unless I know what they are shooting for. What do I want, other people to be happy. I can’t reach my end goal without knowing what their goal is. However, I have to set aside that goal when I remember that I can’t make people happy, it’s not my job to make them happy, and they can only really be happy for themselves.

New York

We parked our car about an hour and a half outside the city and road a train in. A short list of our activities include:
-The Museum of Natural History (the “setting” of Night in the Museum)
-Central Park
-West Side Story (Caleb, Nathan, and I)
-China Town, Little Italy, and watching soccer while walking down the streets
-South Pacific (Caleb, Nathan, Gideon, and I)
-Church in the Chapel over the Temple in downtown Manhattan (which Natalie told me is right across from Juliard)
-The Met
-Street Performers- music, people jumping, etc.
-Soaking in Time Square
-The top of the Rockefeller Center
-The Empire State Building
-Next to Normal
-The Today Show (seeing Tom Brokaw, Matt, Al, and Kristen Stewart (Bella, if you’ve forgotten)
-And a heck of a ton of walking and keeping younger kids fed and taking turns with Addie on our shoulders

A couple of observations:
-I love big buildings with beautiful architecture- whether it is old or sleek and modern. That 13 year old kid who wanted to be an architect still gets excited at certain aspects of beautiful buildings. A couple of my favorites have been Grand Central Station and The Met.
-Because of the lack of space, buildings have to save lots of space. In non important places like certain hallways and entrance rooms they take space out. I get a little claustrophobic in the city. Subway terminals (not so much the subway themselves) have felt that way too with low lying ceilings and hundreds of people.
-Time Square is the epitome of American Advertising. It’s impressive. Glimmer, glammer . . . And Broadway! A fascinating place for sure.
-Due to the number of TVs down the streets of New York, watching the game became a community event. I could watch the watch the game in multiple places as I traveled down the street. A cheer or groan from a group could be heard up and down a block. I like that feel of community.
-I long thought I wanted if I had the money (and I mean lots of it) to live in the city for a year. It doesn’t seem that appealing anymore.
-I love watching the passing faces. I love the mix of culture and languages that surrounds me. I love the variety of life. Something about seeing the vast amount of people caused me to reflect on Heavenly Father and His love. Hmmm . . . I’m going to say what caused me to ponder was the Spirit. I realized that if Heavenly Father could love every person in this city personally, then that love would extend to me in a very personal way and can’t be limited too my finite understanding. My love for others automatically feels increased.

Broadway Review
West Side Story- I loved the dances in West Side Story. If there was a trade center for talents, I would call up and request the ability to dance- I would sacrifice. . .sweating lots (especially in humidity). I also appreciated that much of the cast was Hispanic. I had never seen the full story, but I knew it was a Romeo and Juliet like story. I enjoyed the theme of facing and understanding racial mixtures. I think I’ll comment on this more in my Ellis Island Section.
South Pacific- I loved that I knew next to nothing about South Pacific. The whole musical was a surprise waiting for me. My favorite characters were by far Bloody Mary and the mechanic who are both hilarious. However, I like the main love story between our old french plantation owner and little Arkansas girl. The thing I like most about their relationship is the aspect of falling completely in love and then coming to terms with things they discover after they are head over heels (this was a lot more realistic and interesting to me then the passionate murders of West Side Story).
Next to Normal- this is a new musical you may not have heard of. The main theme circles around the treatment and consequences of the Depression/Anxiety/Schitzophrenia the mom has and how it affects the home and her relationships with her children and husband. The music is brilliant/fabulous. Right now its competing for Wicked’s place as my favorite musical. The story is brilliant, hilarious (while not making fun of the seriousness of the issue), and there are moments that are deeply sad, but mostly you feel alive and real, and the musical ends on a positive note. However, the only thing you need to know is that there is a bit of language. I think the F word was used probably around thirty times and other language appeared from time to time. But the story is about coping with a real issue that I really care about and I think it was beautiful. Oh I loved it. It’s going on tour apparently on the 18th, several of the leads will be going with it, so go see it.

Ellis Island
To be perfectly honest, my visit to Ellis Island was a far more spiritual experience than I had intended. I felt very connected to the people who came through Ellis Island and the Spirit of Elijah manifest the promise that “the hearts of the children would be turned to the hearts of the fathers”. Walking where thousands had entered our nation I felt gratitude for the mix of cultures and people whom live in our country. As I listened and asked questions of our national park guides (I don’t envy their uniforms by the way), I came to see that the country at the time was trying to provide the best opportunity for people to come. Ellis Island is associated with, or at least has been in mind, a crowded place that people had to suffer through. And while it was, only 2 percent of the people who came were rejected. The crowded conditions came after they had expanded Ellis Island simply without the foresight or comprehension of how many people would actually come. It was interesting to me that people were afraid of the authority figures who were observing them because many’s experience previously led them to believe that policemen practiced extortion, beat, and executed people. And, another fact that I found interesting was that at the time, the health care on the Island was some of the best available.
Now, to pull in West Side Story, and Japanese Interment camps, and any other historical events (perhaps Hitler and the Jews), I want to address my concern about new immigration laws. Laws are important and necessary. I don’t really want to talk about the law since I haven’t done my research on it. However, I worry about the attitude towards immigration on our southern border. Some behavior reminds me of attitudes of hate reflected in West Side Story. The behavior also reminds me of the Japanese Internment camps, or even the shipping away of the Commies. I’m worried that some of the action is not motivated out of love for the law and country but out of hate and misunderstanding.
Even if there are individuals crossing the border (and I know there are a lot, I met hundreds of them in California), I’m afraid of the hatred that drives some of the voices trying to protect our border. I would hate for this to be another stain on our nation. I would be disappointed to repeat mistakes history has already made. As much as our nation has been built upon the mixing of peoples and cultures, and as many conflicts as we have had, you would think people would learn.
The Hispanic community in California is very social and interactive. One of the things I noticed while reading in the Ellis Island museum was a plaque that said people would often live together many to a single apartment so that they could support one another and get each other on their feet until the individuals had enough to go live on their own. Many people still do this when they come to our country. I’ve always been somewhat judgmental of this kind of living establishment, but suddenly reading that line I saw the love and the good will towards each other that I missed when I paid more attention to the less desirable living conditions. I was talking to my Nepalese roommates and they told me that you could go anywhere in Nepal and if you needed a meal and a place to stay you walked into any house and they would provide it free. The people trust and love each other. The Nepalese told me how shocked they were to discover that we send away our old ones and ignore them. While being independent (a key attribute of our nation) has its important and very good aspects, I think we could learn a lot from the other cultures. Sometimes we miss out on the happiness and connection that is available to them as we sit in fear of putting ourselves out there for each other.
In short, I ask that we be careful as we look for solutions in handling immigration and the way we deal with other people.


The Editor,
Mark

The Daily Honky Tonk 184th Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
184th Edition
Friday, May 21, 2010
12:03 PM

So what does it mean that I’m writing a DHT? It means my classes are cancelled for today. And I have enough hours to squeeze in some writing for fun. Which I’ve really been wanting to do. I couldn’t ask for a better summer so far. But eight credits of class hour (which is the equivalent of a 16 credit normal semester), three hours of rehearsal a night, and a new girlfriend will keep one busy . . . A good busy . . . A really good busy :)
Anyway, let’s have some fun talking to each other. Oh . ..what’s that you say? I dominate the conversation? Really? Hmmm . . . I’ll try and include you in my dialogue. Don’t give me THAT look. I am weird . . . But I KNOW it. As long as you can think that you might be crazy - you can’t be crazy- crazy people never ask themselves whether they are- at least that is what David Auburn taught me in his play Proof.

Table of Contents
“Understanding- by Samuel Kellar” This thought provoking article comes from my roommate. I asked him to record down the lesson he shared with me as we were talking one night. After reading his writing and knowing that he and I have conversations about all sorts of interesting things, I think you’ll see why I love having Sam as my roommate.
“YouTube Collaborations”- An observation about changes in technology and their potential
“Mysteries of Monster Grove” - A shameless plug for the play I’m in that rocks!
“Letters to the Editor”- more like letter .. .but still appreciated. I had another one from one of my Mission Presidents that I appreciated .. .but I don’t think you all would understand the Spanish :)

Understanding- Samuel Kellar

Mark asked me to write down a lesson I learned from my parents during the last presidential elections. So this is my simple attempt to put words to the ideas that jump in and out of my mind. I hope it sounds coherent.
As a preface it is helpful to understand that I am studying physics in college. I was raised by two parents who were fairly well educated. My father has a PhD. in logistics and all but dissertation on another PhD. in mathematics. My mother is a docter. She studies family practice specifically and is continuing her education even as she raises her children. Hopefully, I don’t sound boastful but I just want to make clear that I was raised in a house that was very educated. From a young age I was taught to make clear any opinions I had and my father especially would play devil’s advocate commonly to force his children to come to a clear understanding of where their opinions were and why. This was common place for anything that was up for discussion in my house. As a result when I come to conclusions I generally have thought them through and can explain why I feel a certain way.
This hopefully serves as an informative back-story to the story I am about to tell. During the presidential elections I was, sadly, a common college student. I briefly listened to summaries of what candidates said and formed “educated” opinions on their platforms. It certainly was an imperfect way to form opinions but it was what I did. During all the campaigning something that came up consistently was the idea of going green. As a scientist I agree with this idea. I feel I have a decent idea of what good will come from this. These campaigns excited me because I felt they were very important. I paid a bit more attention to what was being said around these campaign points. The more I listened the more frustrated I became. I realized that the conclusions the candidates reached I agreed with but their logic was completely flawed. It was to short sighted. It was to short term. There was no way, I felt, these goals could be reached on the schedule they were laying out. This really frustrated me because I could easily foresee the common people giving up on good ideas because development was to slow. This is the problem with right conclusions from flawed logic. At some point someone realizes the problems in the logic and begins to doubt the conclusion independent of how correct it is. As I went home during a break for school I expressed these feelings to my parents. I gave it my best shot anyway. They did not seem see my point of view much less be persuaded. Finally, in a moment of frustration I said something to the effect that the reason I was so bothered by these campaign promises is that they were lies. They were lies because there was no possible way anyone could follow through with them. It did not matter if I could explain how I knew this. It didn’t change the fact that the campaign promises were wrong and I therefore interpreted them as lies since they were passed along as promises. My father proceeded to teach me a profound lesson. He asked me who had said these lies. I told him that I heard it on the news and on campaign commercials. He asked me who I thought wrote those commercials and the news reports. I told him I did not know but I imagined someone was hired to do so. He asked me what kind of a person I thought would be hired to do that job. Would it be someone who had a Phd. in physics or chemistry and understood the ins and outs of the discussion. Was it someone who had an extensive knowledge on the subject. Was it someone who had thought through all of the counterpoints to convince themselves that the logic was sound. I had to admit I could not imagine anyone like that having written the commercials or news. My father then said that he was not convinced from my words that these campaign promises were false. Though I felt like I understood the subject much better than the people writing about the topic I could not express myself convincingly enough to show the others were incorrect. I have to admit I am not sure if at this moment he was just playing devil’s advocate or if he was serious but independent I learned a great lesson that day. If I with all my education and preparation could not express myself clearly and succinctly at that moment it is very understandable that someone else who was not as prepared would say “lies.” I do not wish this to be a commentary on the people making those campaign promises. I want to expand this to a much broader sphere because that is how I understood it.
There are so many times that I feel like someone has said something that is wrong and I try to show them why. I realized that sometimes people have the correct idea and they simply don’t know how to express it. The example that comes to mind is someone in fast and testimony meeting feeling prompted to speak on the importance of eternal families. They came from an imperfect home that was unfortunately broken during their childhood. They try to express the love they still felt from both their parents throughout their childhood. They are thankful that there are promises that they will one day have an eternal family. With all of these thoughts coming to mind and a short period of preparation they say the first things that come to their mind. They say something to the effect of “I am grateful to live in a divorced family.”
This is clearly incorrect and it is very tempting to nip this in the bud. I began to realize that this is not the important thing. The intent is the important part of the statement. It was clearly not said in any way meant to provoke. Also when someone comes up and corrects the comment it is natural to feel defensive but suddenly they don’t have anywhere to turn. They don’t know how to express themselves and they either fight back or retreat to a corner. It is difficult to really solve the problem because no one really knows what it is. I know I have felt this way in my life. It is uncomfortable especially when you are certain that all parties would agree if proper communication took place. Sometimes we just don’t allow that to happen.
I learned an important lesson that day. The lesson of understanding. It is important to listen to what people have to say. Even when it comes out imperfectly it is important to understand the person. Sometimes we say things and mean something completely different than what we mean. Sometimes we do not comprehend the full effect of our words. If time is not taken to reach and understanding then no progress is ever made. As a result many problems arise from a situation that could have been avoided entirely.

YouTube Collaborations

Among college students, we spend a lot of time Utilizing YouTube. YouTube clips are used to share funny moments with each other from movies or t.v. Shows. YouTube allows individuals a medium in which they can create and share short films. YouTube allows people to listen to new music and for aspiring (and not so aspiring) artists to share their latest creations. And at this point, YouTube is a tool that is effective for allowing teachers to add a media element to their teaching. I’ve learned a lot from YouTube!
One of my favorite recent discoveries is a group called WongFu Productions. A couple of students who found short films as a fun media hobby made it their life job. Many of their short films make the mind ponder over simple interesting aspects of life. My favorites have been a series of three short films entitled Technology Ruins Romance. Type those three words into YouTube and they will appear right away.
The real reason that I wrote this article however, is because I found an Artist called Tyler Ward collaborating with TheBeatboxHitman. Both record in home made studios and are popular YouTube artists. The thing that fascinated me the most is that they recorded a mash-up (combination of two songs) cover without ever having to come in contact in the physical world. I think this is really neat. I love that we can create things together with people and collaborate to make something more than what we could do on our own. If you want to watch this performance go to http://www.youtube.com/user/TylerWardMusic#p/u/22/gRDsPDpdhZg

Mysteries of Monster Grove

We went through our first full dress/ full tech rehearsal last night. The production is gorgeous. I guess gorgeous is a bad word for monsters . . .but they are fun monsters. Are show is designed for an audience of kids (with enough intelligent moments for adults to enjoy it with their kids). I love this play more every day. My cast is a lot of fun to play with. The costumes, lighting, sounds, and props have created a whole new world that we play in and I love every moment in Monster Grove. If you are going to be in Provo anytime from May 26-June 12th I invite you to come see a performance. If not, go check out these sites to get a little taste of what we have done :)

For ticket info:
http://www.byuarts.com/calendar/eventdescription_v2.php?eventid=626

http://heraldextra.com/entertainment/arts-and-theatre/theatre/article_325d5bc8-774d-567f-805f-17cd399a668f.html

If you go to this page one of the four title pictures it scrolls through is for Monster Grove . . . It’s my favorite picture of some of the monsters in our cast :)
http://www.byuarts.com/

Letters to the Editor

Well I have to see the Dragon movie because I completely agree with you on Blind Side (amazing job with a book), Julie & Julia and The Village. M. Night really makes you think. And the point of the movie that you can’t escape bad things, is so profound. Especially when they have worked SO hard and given up SO much to achieve it. It’s quite sad really.

If you like the 5 hour Pride & Prejudice, I was very pleased with BBC’s 8 hour rendering of Dickens’ Bleak House and highly recommend it.

Shelly Olivier

** I like what you said about the point of The Village. It really is the most profound aspect of the movie. Maybe I’ll point a friend of mine to it and ask her to watch it when thinking about relationships. She’s had a boy pursuing her a little and has been scared to let herself like him. There is a lot of fear of getting into a relationship because it could be painful, especially if it doesn’t work out. But, accepting the pain is also accepting the joy. And in any case, you are just avoiding one type of pain and volunteering to accept the pains of loneliness if you choose not to love. I’ve always liked the oft quoted “The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”(Moulin Rouge or originally Nat King Cole’s “Nature Boy” - I just did my research).

The Editor
MARK

The Daily Honky Tonk 183rd Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
183rd Edition
Saturday, April 24, 2010
4:40 AM

Being perfectly honest, I’ve struggled a lot with sleep in my life. As my parents could tell you I stopped taking naps within the first year or so of my life. Tonight I find myself still awake and as I am starting this DHT it is 3:52 AM. Which likely means I will finish between 4:30 and 5:00. Usually my sleep finds me around 1 or 2 when I’m having a really hard time. The funny thing is I don’t even feel really tired right now. I know I’m going to be paying for this for the rest of today but sleep is just not coming. . .so I might as well write.

Moving

To be honest, I’m pretty sure tonight I’m awake because I’m moving. Big changes- they always lead to less sleep . . . Even when I am excited for the change. Starting a new school year, taking a plane somewhere else, at different points in dating, big tests, projects, performances, the night before leaving to be a missionary, before leaving the MTC, before coming home, before going to college. My mind and body tell me a big change is coming and nothing many things are about to change.
I have to admit that my feelings about moving are very bittersweet. I am excited for a change. But I realized that I have come to think of this room and the bed I am sitting on as my own. I’ve come to love all the people who are in my ward. I love them a lot. And it has been sad to see them go, and sad to think of others who I am leaving here. This is life. People move on. But now as I leave, I know that my heart has become attached- something I sometimes fear I don’t actually do with people. My feelings are proving some of my thoughts and assumptions wrong. I still feel for people and yearn for their closeness and the relationships I have with them. And I look ever so much forward to these next few months of adventure.

Big Events

My friend Kjerstine Young (formerly Jackson) just had a little girl, Adelaide. I’m excited for her.
I already mentioned moving.
I know several couples getting married today. Later tonight I’ll go to a wedding reception.
I finished another semester.
The play performances begin in just over a month.
Life is gorgeous in so many ways.

Movie Reviews

So it’s possible that I watch quite a few movies. I love watching movies. I love the music, the acting, the stories, and thought provoking messages.

How to Train Your Dragon
When it comes to thought provoking messages. . .not so much in this movie. When it comes to being good fun entertainment with a nice story “How to Train Your Dragon” is a winner. I’m sure you have seen plenty of dragons- but I bet you haven’t ever thought they looked cute or really wanted to have your own. Wait, I lie. If you read Eragon and the succeeding books you may have wanted a dragon. But you probably never thought of Eragon as cute. Anyway, its a fun movie and appropriate for a family outing.

Julie and Julia
Wow. I don’t think I reviewed The Blind Side- but The Blind Side has become one of my favorite movies of all. Why do I mention this, because I think Julie and Julia was a movie of similar caliber. Granted, I would love to watch The Blind Side over and over again. Julie and Julia, I would probably enjoy watching again in a year or two . ..but if I never got around to it I probably wouldn’t mind. However, it is a beautifully put together film. However, I think the real thing that sells this movie is Meryl Streep. Her acting is incredible in every shape way and form. This is perfect for a date night, or a cooking party with a more mature audience. There is a little bit of language and there are some suggestive scenes but nothing to graphic. Definitely worth a watch :)

The Village
So, tonight I went to a friends birthday party and when I came back I had a few more things that I needed to do to pack and so I put in The Village with the intent of not finishing it. In fact, once I was done packing, I turned it off. After laying in my bed without sleep coming, I decided to finish it. Now, typically I am not a fan of scary movies. They aren’t my thing. The darkness that resides in my heart when I watch one is not something I enjoy in the least bit. But this is actually my second time watching The Village because I love it. Now, the reason I was able to enjoy The Village enough the first time was that somebody explained to me what was happening. Not only was I told the reasons, but there is nothing supernatural in the movie. At the end of the movie there is no unsettling feeling. The only other scary movie that I enjoy is Signs. Interestingly enough, these are both by M. Night Shyalaman.
What intrigues me about Shyalamans films is that he is such a good storyteller. Both Signs and The Village are profound stories. One of the main themes of The Village is dealing with pain and suffering and life. The movie has profound insight to what is good and evil. It considers the extremes at which we might go to protect those that we love. It shows the depths of human care, joy, and sorrow. Shyalamans scripts are genius and beautiful. They discuss topics of faith, doubt, fear, hope, good, evil, and everything that is profound in life. Besides this, it is a movie that continues to unveil meaning upon re-watching.
Like Julie and Julia, this is another movie with incredible acting. The characters are rich. Two of the most interesting characters are a blind girl and a mentally retarded young man. But as a whole, the entirety of the cast does beautifully.
As a final plus, the music from The Village is absolutely gorgeous as it appropriately accompanies a beautiful green 18th Century village. If you are interested in watching and desire not to be scared, I can explain the main parts of the movie. However, it will spoil the movie in some senses. I still enjoyed it even knowing, more so then if I hadn’t. The other part of the movie, which I don’t really like is that there is a stabbing in it. I close my eyes. I don’t recommend this for the young. And I have given you the precautions that I still have.

I think that is all I want to write about tonight. Hope you enjoy. I’ve enjoyed getting responses back from people. Some I may not have responded to but fully meant to. I’ll have to go back and look. Thanks for reading. Or skimming :)

The Editor,
MARK

The Daily Honky Tonk 182nd Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
182nd Edition
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
4:25 PM

Two weeks turn around on writing another DHT. I like this much better. It could have to do with the fact that I finished all my finals and don’t start spring classes again till Tuesday. I’m also most of the way packed to move and did a lot of cleaning on my apartment. And I don’t even move out until Saturday. So I think I am in pretty good shape.
Mainly in this email I want to share a few quotes that I found recently and to re-share a piece I wrote back in 2006 that I’m pretty proud of.

Quotes

From a Word A Day by Anu Garg- an interesting quote about effecting change. However, I think that in reality everyone needs to be willing to “be anything or nothing in the world’s estimation”.
Cautious, careful people, always casting about to preserve their reputation and social standing, never can bring about a reform. Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation. -Susan B. Anthony, reformer and suffragist (1820-1906)

From my Book of Mormon class, a letter that our Professor once received that talks about what Faith really is.
“I worry when we sometimes teach our children that if they have enough faith, God will restore a lost dollar, a lost toy, or a lost school paper to them. What will they think when God does not restore a lost parent or sibling? Do we set them up to fail in their faith? We teach them the belief that faith is enough to get what they most want. When in fact, faith is being willing to trust what God wants, whatever that might be.
“I have spent a lot of time wondering why my faith was not enough to change things. What I have come to understand is, that sometimes it takes more faith to accept things as they are, than it does to change them. I have also come to understand that true faith is trusting God, even when it hurts desperately, even when we don’t feel equal to what is asked of us, even when we don’t seem to receive what we live for, even when we feel so alone, even when we don’t understand. With the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we do not give up, give out, or give in. We endure, we trust with faith that we will someday understand. We strive to love God as Christ did, and to trust in His perfect love for us.”

I love the line in this letter “even when it hurts desperately”. I don’t even know that I’ve hurt desperately, but sometimes my heart has ached for a long time as I have tried to understand something. But its not necessary to understand everything. Nobody does and nobody asks us to.

Baby

Fallout boy has a song called “Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner,” (I actually don’t even really know what it sounds like, but Amy said it was her favorite one time) but to say “Nobody” is a big assumption and I am going to prove that assumption as false. I, myself put Baby in the corner all the time. In fact, that is where Baby belongs; in the corner. By putting her in the corner I can find her and pick her up again each morning. It’s nice to see Baby in the corner all quiet and pretty. And when I pick her up, she sings. Or, at least it sounds like music to me.
Baby is my acoustic guitar- a Jasmine model by the guitar company Takamine. I found her in a little guitar shop in Urbana, the kind where the guy running the store probably owns and loves it. He was very nice, very helpful in finding a guitar, and was also very knowledgeable about guitars. It didn’t take long before we found the Takamine; it had just come in. Who knew that you could buy such a great friend for one hundred and twenty dollars?
Baby and I can play for hours and often, we do. Until of course, a couple of people in the house get tired of us repeating the same music to make sure we have just the right words and just the right sounds. So Baby and I take a break, knowing we can pick back up right where we left off. It’s rather pleasant to know your friend will be in the same temper it was the last time you left it- even if you are not.
Sometimes I play Baby because I’m sad. Sometimes because I want to get rid of some anger or stress. But most of the time I play Baby because it makes me happy. With no relevance to whether I am sad, angry, or happy- Baby still sings beautiful and clear, even when I cannot.
Some days I just sit with Baby running through the same old stuff. Making sure it stays in my head so I don’t forget it. But then, Baby and I like to explore; try new chord combinations, write new lyrics, and form beginnings of new songs. When Baby and I can’t figure things out, we just walk away to wait a little while.
While waiting I start listening to music. No, not hearing music- listening to it. Breaking it down into components. The voice fluctuates here, but the guitar doesn’t come in till here. Oh! Did you catch what the drum did right there. Genius. Once you take the component apart to see what you do, you can put them back together. I like that. It makes me feel like a little mechanic.
When I was a little kid, I played with Legos all the time. I loved piecing the colored brick together into spaceships of exploration, armies to fight out civil wars, and space wars and wars where Indians, space guys, cowboys, and revolutionaries all fought on the same battleground? I loved building massive cities with buildings two or three bricks high where Lego people became real, ran businesses, and fell in love. This was great, I loved it. But I often wandered and kind of wished in my little heart that I was like the kids who had to tear things up and figure out how they worked; like for example my cousins Russel and Shelvin. But apparently I must have been afraid of the consequences of tearing things up. Because all I ever did was build. And if I couldn’t make it on my own then it wasn’t that important. Sadly, I lack a mechanical understanding of electricity, cars, home repair, etc.; in short, when I grow up, I’ll read the manual. But it wasn’t the same with music.
Music was something I could grasp. We bought a piano for about seventy-five dollars off our close friends the Walkers. Out of tune, with ruined keys, it should have been on the side of the street (which is where it did eventually end up, soaked by rain, sounding awful and sick). But instead my parents bought it with hopes of getting it tuned and repaired (when we finally called to see what the cost would be to repair and tune the piano, they told us it would be better to buy a new one- repair costs would have been prohibitive). After they bought it, that piano sat there in our house- looking pretty?
At the time it was beautiful to me. I kept asking my parents to let me take lessons. Finally, after a year of me pleading for lessons, they found Kevin Wells, a piano teacher from another ward in Roanoke Virginia. So, in fourth grade, I began to unlock the components of the piano, and, in reality, to all music.
I recall flying through the first couple of lesson books, barely able to contain the excitement. Progress, learn more, progress, get better. I was breaking into a beautiful world that was mine to play with. At the time though, I only knew the parts of the music world that others had created. It didn’t matter though, I loved playing others music. Because I could play others music, in a way it became mine.
It wasn’t till shortly before we moved that I started really listening to music. After we moved, music became my constant companion. My new piano teacher, Brother Nakea, studied piano performance at the University of Illinois, and still meets with a professor before performing sets of work by Chopin, Mozart, and Grieg. With this type of apprenticeship and previous learning, my pinao teacher has been able to extend my understanding of music far beyond anything I imagined. He opened my eyes to writing music, to loving the intricacies that the composers put in. Little did I realize when I started piano that one day I would be able to play a group of notes on the piano and tell what scale they came from. Now, I am running through a piece and I’ll stumble through a section. “play that first chord Mark, and name it.” “G# Major 7?” I ask uncertain. “Yes.” “So the G# Major scale is . . .” “Actually, there is no G# Major scale, it’s used for chords, but you write music in A Flat Major.” “Oooooh.” I feel like a little boy again. I get giddy with excitement when I start to see a composer’s patterns. I get even more giddy when I realize how I can apply it to my own music. That little boy desire to tear things apart and build again is realized. I get to ear music apart and piece it back together.
This destructive and constructive phase been coming together for years. Now, things start to fall in line and I can write music. Baby and Piano are extra appendages for building the music. And when I throw my voice on top, even if not the greatest, then I can add an extra layer of music, and of words. Words and music are two of the most powerful influences I know. The feelings they create are quite evident. Music and words can bring the Holy Ghost into a church meeting. They create National pride when large groups of people sing the National anthem together in unison. Music and words are vital to everything we are. They are vital to me.

The Editor,
Mark

The Daily Honky Tonk 181st Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
181st Edition
April 6, 2010
12:17 AM

I thought I would take a few minutes to respond to the requests of Taryn and Amy and give an update on my life. I’ve started writing again and again, and then I get tired and go to sleep and don’t come back to writing. Or I just write in my journal instead of sending all my thoughts out through the virtual world to your reality.

My life looks like this:
School, Work, Play Practice, Church, Friends, Dating

School
This will be the completion of my third full semester at BYU. I attended Spring Term last year and will do so again, leaving my summer term open to recover for a month or so before I jump into the next Fall Semester.
Highlights of this year in school have been doing a TMA 101 class in which I wrote a play that was performed in front of our class. In January, I got into the English teaching program. During my free time on Campus I tend to live in the library in the Maps section on the Second Floor. Some classes that I have really enjoyed are my Book of Mormon class, Psychology 111 (Intro to Psychology), TMA 101 (Intro to Theater), and English 292 (British Literature). I have not been a fan of my Biology class, but I’ve almost completed my Science Credits.

Work
I still work for BYU Catering. Which I really enjoy doing. I work as a Captain leading out events by instructing other workers how to set up and serve. I’ve always enjoyed the food business. When I was little I wanted to own a restaurant. I don’t want to now, but I love serving people food. I love the variety in this job. Every event is different and I get to meet new people all the time. During the football season Catering kept me for 12-13 hours on Saturdays to drive trucks delivering food and supplies to different food stations around the football stadium. I enjoy the people I work with and like being able to start and complete something each time I work.

Play Practice
I’m just going to say at this point Theater is my obsession. I watch at least one play a week (luckily it’s a free student production) and about a third of the time I see two plays in a week. If I don’t go to a play I attend International Cinema, Divine Comedy( a comedy sketch group on Campus), and LOL (the improv comedy group on campus). Besides having my play produced by my group in TMA 101, I got to be part of a Student Production “I Love Lysistrada” at the beginning of the Winter Semester. Currently, I am in a main stage production called “Mysteries of Monster Grove” that will be playing May 26- June 12. The play is actually based on the concept of a children’s book author who works at BYU. We’ve been writing the play together as a cast. I am cast as Dad, an accountant who has come to monster grove to solve all the money problems. I am also writing a significant portion of the music for the performance on Piano. I love being a part of this project.
Three or Four days ago I was laying around and realized that I am in love. No, not with a girl. I’m in love with theater. I’m going to take a playwriting class in the fall and an acting class in the Spring. One of my life ambitions has become more firmly that I will write a musical.
Besides acting and drama fun on campus, I’ve done a number of little performances with some friends in my ward. My friend Sam and I performed a Mormonized version of Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s On First” skit called “Who’s in the RSP”. We also did a Monty Python skit called “The Four Yorkshiremen”. And now Sam and I are writing the BYU 194th Ward Year in Review – a comedy skit to perform before everyone leaves for the summer. These are the things I love.

Church
Keeps me busy as always. I continue to grow and learn about the Gospel. I keep learning and trying to understand life. Everyday I learn new things and I am more and more greatful for the Spirit and the Atonement. I still enjoy pondering over Gospel topics and their application. I am not as black and white as I was in my youth. And I think I am more of a realist than an idealist. I consider these to be advances that come with a greater understanding of the gospel. I also find that they have benefited the way I interact with and understand people. I continue to strive everyday to know what the Lord wants me to do. I try and listen for the Spirit and act on it. I still feel I have a long way to go in learning charity, humility, and obedience. . .but I’ve become much more appreciative of Christ’s sacrifice and how it gives me strength to become better, and to not feel guilty for every little thing I do wrong.

Friends
I continue to struggle to understand what it means to have a friendship. When I work on forming my friendships I often feel selfish. I feel like I’m not as good at listening to people. I don’t feel like I’m very good at building trust in individuals. And I even find that I have problems letting myself get close to people. Don’t get me wrong. I have LOTS of friends. And I enjoy them. But, I don’t have many very deep relationships. I’ve kind of accepted that. In fact, I’m excited because my friend Sam and I are going to be roommates for the spring summer in one complex and in the fall we are moving to another one . ..which means in the next four months I’ll meet a lot more people. . .which I like. It’s just different than what I really want. Which segues into . .

Dating
When it comes down to it, I think my favorite quote about dating is still one that hung in Amy’s apartment from one of her old roommates “Dating is like communism, it’s a good idea, but the practical application sucks.” It makes me laugh every time I think of it. I’ve struggled to figure anything about dating out. Sam and Phil like to tease me about my dating life. Who is the new girl this week Mark?(Phil) A date for this week, no, Mark has twelve lined up. (Sam) They tease me about it. I really haven’t dated that much. Because I was thinking about it and trying to figure out what I know about dating, I worked to recall every girl I’ve been on a date with. Since turning 16 I could come up with names for about 35 different girls. About 22 of those dates have been since coming to BYU. I don’t know whether that’s good or bad. I date more than most guys I know. But that’s the only way one can figure out. I think my biggest issue is that this is the one thing that I’ve cared about more than almost anything since I was 11 or 12 years old. It’s a perfectionist issue, I have to get it right as I can or something. Every date I go on I learn a little bit something more. I try as hard as I can to make the date good and comfortable and safe for whoever I am out with. I can’t think of a date I haven’t enjoyed. That makes it hard to figure out what I want. Even when I try things out, I still come off confused.
For now I’ll have to keep praying, going out on dates, and trying my best to serve the girls I go on dates with.


Well, that’s all for now folks. I need sleep.
The Editor,
MARK

The Daily Honky Tonk 180th Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
180th Edition
Thursday, January 7, 2010
12:18 AM

*Note: My address book seems to pick up email addresses that I don’t ask it to. . .but I don’t know on what pretext it does so. If you feel you have erroneously received the DHT feel free to request your name removed. I will proceed to discover that you are on my list and then remove you as requested. :)

The nature of the DHT has change over the course of the years that I have been writing. From the early days as a ploy to see emails appear in my inbox, to an emotional and thinking outlet for my high school years, and now I think my vision has changed. I still see the DHT as an outlet, especially for what I am thinking. I have become aware, that the DHT when published on a frequent basis, allows me to better sort and organize thoughts logically. As well as improving my writing skills. While these are selfish motives, I recognize that writing can and has had a powerful influence in the course and direction of our world. Speeches, letters, news articles, and many other forms of writing have drastically shaped the course of human events. In desiring to be a teacher, I would hope to be able to express ideas to students that will change the course of their lives and educations for the better. I made a goal, no matter how short, that I would try and write more frequently. And so, today I want to share a number of quotes that I have come to appreciate from the Word a Day emails, classes, and other sources:

It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe. -Thomas Paine, philosopher and writer (1737-1809)

Naive you are / if you believe / life favours those / who aren't naive. -Piet Hein, poet and scientist (1905-1996)

“If we start right, it is very easy for us to go right all the time; but if we start wrong, we may go wrong, and it is a hard matter to get right.”- Joseph Smith

“A true principle makes decisions clear even under the most confusing and compelling circumstances.”- Elder Richard G. Scott- Marriage and Family Life class

“How a principle would best apply to one partner might not be the best application of that principles for the other partner.”- Professor Ken Mattheson- from powerpoint in Marriage and Family Life Class

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”- Martin Luther King Jr.- I have a dream speech
(Editorial Comment: I have to wander whether we still value as a society the importance of judging one by their character. If we judged people by the content of their character would we have such corrupt politics? Why do we vote people into office without virtue? The founders believed the people would select those whom are most virtuous. One may ask whether there are virtuous leaders to vote for.)

“ . . .an attitude stems from a tragic misconception of time, from the strangely irrational notion that there is something in the very flow of time that will inevitably cure all ills. Actually, time itself is neutral; it can be used either destructively or constructively. More and more I feel that the people of ill will have used time much more effectively than have the people of good will. We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people. Human progress never rolls in on wheels of inevitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to be co-workers with God, and without this hard work time itself becomes an ally of the forces of social stagnation. We must creatively, in the knowledge that the time is always ripe to do right.”- Martin Luther King Jr. - Letter from Brimingham Jail

Our government doesn’t work anymore, or perhaps more accurately, when it does, it works for special interests and not the American people. Washington consistently stoops to legislate 10,000-page perversions of healthcare, regulatory reform, defense, and budgetary mandates overflowing with earmarks that serve a monied minority as opposed to an all-too-silent majority. You don’t have to be Don Quixote to believe that legislators – and Presidents – often do not work for the benefit of their constituents: A recent NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll reported that over 65% of Americans trust their government to do the right thing “only some of the time” and a stunning 19% said “never.” What most politicians apparently are working for is to perpetuate their power – first via district gerrymandering, and then second by around-the-clock campaigning financed by special interest groups. - Bill Gross “Let’s Get Fisical” fromt the PIMCO Website
http://www.pimco.com/LeftNav/Featured+Market+Commentary/IO/2010/Let%E2%80%99s+Get+Fisical+January+2010.htm

“It is impossible to overestimate the unimportance of most things”- source unknown, quoted to us by our home teacher Brother Steve Smith as a quote he keeps in his office as a professor at the U of I.

That’s all for now folks :)

The Editor,
MARK