The Daily Honk Tonk 177th Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
177th Edition
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
9:05 PM

This edition I’m just going to title Mark’s Minutes- because they are all just short little random bits.

Written Tonight
Chelsea’s Wedding: There is a stigma as a member of the church that when people go to BYU they get married rather quickly. I remember being sure that I would return and several of my good friends would be married. However, they weren’t married when I got home. However, now having been home nearly a year that statistic is changing. Yesterday, I got to attend Chelsea’s wedding (going out to lunch with Laura, Katie, and Jon, I made the connection afterwards with the fact that she is the youngest). I’ve never had the opportunity to attend a Sealing (the ceremony of marriage in the Temple that allows couples to be together forever). The Spirit and joy in the Temple was overwhelming. I felt so incredibly happy. It made me want to get married!!! (In due time of course). A couple things stuck out that the Sealer said to Chelsea and Justin to me. He reminded them that they have very different talents and that they are to build on them and never compete through them. Then he talked about the Holy Spirit of Promise. His words struck me a lot. I remember while I was studying in the scriptures, I discovered not long before leaving for California about the Holy Spirit of Promise and the important role the Spirit plays in confirmation of individual events and things. The Holy Spirit of Promise comes up when we talk about marriages, baptisms, and other similar ordinances. The Holy Spirit of Promise is what confirms that those actions are recognized and effective in the eyes of God. The Sealer talked about the importance of looking for the Spirit of Promise confirming little things. It made me think about the little instances in which the Holy Spirit of Promise comes in and blesses our lives. As a missionary, there would be times when the Spirit would fall upon me and tell me that my offering was acceptable before the Lord and that I was doing what he wanted. In friendships and relationships with others, I’ve noticed that the Spirit will come into a conversation for several purposes. Sometimes I’ve noticed that the feeling is one that is an increased love and understanding that helps us build relationships. Sometimes, it confirms that the conversation is something you or the other person needed to hear. And sometimes the Spirit comes not in talking but in the way you treat each other (the Sealer mentioned that to Chelsea and Justin).

She Is Love- by Parachute
** This is a recently discovered song that I really like. It’s interesting because this song could be interpreted to be about a girl or it could be a general description of the power of love.

I've been beaten down, I've been kicked around,
But she takes it all for me.
And I lost my faith, in my darkest days,
But she makes me want to believe.

They call her love, love, love, love, love.
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
She is love, and she is all I need.

She's all I need.

Well I had my ways, they were all in vain,
But she waited patiently.
It was all the same, all my pride and shame,
And she put me on my feet.

Chorus

And when that world slows down, dear.
And when those stars burn out, here.
Oh she'll be here, yes she'll be here,
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
They call her love, love, love, love. love.

Chorus

Written at the beginning of last week
My brother sent me an email to inform me about a change in his email address. He mentioned that he felt that his old address was juvenile. It kind of made me laugh because I really liked his email address. But then I started to think about moments with my email address. With people I don’t know, I usually don’t get much of a reaction. You know, when some business or school person asks for your email, they hear so many unique ones that they don’t really bother to ask, and they don’t usually show any emotion about it. But sometimes I’m nervous when I catch a look or I can tell they want to ask. Then when friends or new acquaintances ask about it there is always a chuckle when I say Honky Tonk and then an “oh, that’s actually really cool” when I explain what it is. Just a funny little thought pattern I wanted to record.

I saw a blog where a friend said in a list of things she can do that she can “Fall in love”. I haven’t thought about the agency involved in falling in love in quite a while. Can I fall in love? Or do I just have too much fear of letting someone that close?

I’ve always believed that I’m not very photogenic. Every once in a while I’ve seen pictures that I thought looked good. But if I’m going to look at myself, I usually feel better in a mirror than in a picture. I was looking through the pictures that are posted of me on Facebook and I was reminded of a comment a friend made after she met me. She said “The pictures I saw of you before I met you don’t really do you justice” or something to that effect. . .whatever she said it translated to “Wow, pictures of you don’t turn out well, I’m glad you look better than that.” It made me laugh because she’s a friend who is very honest and direct and doesn’t bury her comments in mush and it made me feel better that at least one other person recognizes that when I take pictures they don’t turn out very well.


The Editor,
MARK

The Daily Honky Tonk 176th Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
176th Edition
Monday, August 17, 2009
11:30 AM

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Table of Contents:
On Friendships
Mexico!

On Friendships

Going home after our trip to Mexico was one of the best things I have done this summer. On the drive back home from the Bloomington airport in the Honda Accord the I drove back in highschool, I felt more homesick than I ever have in my life. I don’t really get homesick, not for the two years on my mission and not really while I’m even out at school. But driving home, I became more sick for home than ever. I didn’t even desire as much to hook up with friends, as I just wanted to be at home and with my family. Okay, so this is kind of a weird way to start off an essay about friendships, but it will relate.
Over the past couple months, I’ve been pondering what it means to be a friend. While I still have a few friends who I consider my best friends, in reality, the relation we share is not the type we shared in high school. Several of us live hours away from each other, two are getting married, school and work keep us busy, for two of my friends I hope they wake up from their slumbers, and the lives we lead don’t just don’t intersect like that they did in high school. It’s not bad, it’s just different.
To add another factor to this equation, in coming to college I meet hundreds of new people, in classes, in my ward and apartment complex, and through meeting people here through friends from back home. One of the girls was teasing me and being serious when she said I would be a good person to know just to get to network people. And after dating a girl, I started to wonder if I still know how to build real solid friendships, or just unlimited amounts of relationships of trust. People trust me far quicker and to greater degrees than I trust them on a regular basis; or at least by my perceptions of things they do.
Finally, I’ve recognized that, in relationships other than dating relationships, most people aren’t strictly looking for best friends. Our lives, that of students, are rather transient; there is little that is constant and after leaving high school, I think people realize that everything they know will disappear in again in a few years. This cannot obviously be said for everyone- there are people who have friends from college that last for years. I don’t think right now that this is a bad thing- it is just different. And for me, after meeting many many new people, I’ve realized that I do want friendships that are more constant. Tying it back to home, I think being there helped me to see the constancy that I really enjoy in my relationships there.
Yesterday, I taught the Elder Quorum lesson out of the Joseph Smith manual during the third hour of church. In a very real way, I knew the Lord had allowed me to be in a position to study and teach that lesson for the benefit of myself. In learning about Joseph Smith, it’s obvious from the accounts of others that whether he spent lots of time with a person or little time they felt like he was really a true friend and that he care about the individual. It also became evident to me that we typically define people we know into a couple categories; family, best friends, friends, acquaintances, and strangers. I decided that the main difference between best friends, friends, and acquaintances is the amount of time that we devote to the individual and the amount of trust we build. Yet, one of the points of the lessons was that we needed to be true friends with everyone, especially in our Ward Family setting. If it was true that time was the major requirement for being a friend with someone in a ward with two hundred people, you couldn’t devote even an hour a week to all those individuals, there are only 168 hours in a week. Subtract sleeping, school and work, and you have much less time and more people that you interact with that should be your true friends. So, back to Joseph Smith. He clearly didn’t devote lots of time to everyone he met, but other felt that in the little contact they had that he was a friend. More importantly, I noticed in the comments from his journal how much he valued friends and how much a strength they were to him. In teaching the lesson, my thoughts were led to Christ. In the scriptures, Christ went amongst many people. And even if his ministry was somewhat limited, it was still a lot of people. In the instances where he allowed all the children to come to him, or where he administered to all the sick and afflicted, it’s obvious that he wouldn’t have had a lot of time to spend with each individual. Yet, they loved Him and they felt His love and testify to us from thousands of years before that He is the Savior and is our Redeemer and they must have felt that he was a true friend.
Bring this forward two thousand years to a college student who has been praying about friendships and how to properly build relationships with people. A couple of impressions have struck me. Although certainly there is value in the time spent with people and the trust we build in each other, it isn’t strictly a requirement for friendship. How you feel towards an individual, the love you have towards them is more important. In that sense, perhaps, acquaintances can be called friends. In some cases, I was devaluing my ability to make friends because I know so many people, but have built very few best friendships. My feeling is that while I want that, it isn’t strictly necessary and that I don’t have to devalue a friendship because there isn’t as much devoted to it. People that I feel are real friends are real friends despite the lack of time we share.
I began to think of more practical examples of people who are true friends to everyone they come in contact with. Youth leaders, my favorite teachers, and a few close friends came to mind. There are individuals I know that radiate friendship from somewhere deep within. It is deep, but it glows. Two friends who may have seen an overweight, awkward kid at the end of his freshman year, but saw a friend as well. Teachers that I knew cared about every student. Teaching wasn’t their job, it was the way they carried themselves and its what inspires me to want to be a teacher. Their students learned more because their teacher was a friend even if they weren’t going to be hanging out Friday night. And it’s the way I see my parents welcome people into our home. And it is the characteristic that led me most to my best friends in high school. In these individuals, friendship radiates to every person they meet whether they will spend ten minutes with the person or a life time. I’ve come to realize that this is one of the most attractive personality traits to me personally and the extreme opposite is one of my biggest pet peeves.
But what about the best friends issue? I still wanted to know what made a best friend. Joseph Smith said: “These I have met in prosperity, and they were my friends; and I now meet them in adversity, and they are still my warmer friends. These love the God that I serve; they love the truths that I promulgate; they love those virtuous, and those holy doctrines that I cherish in my bosom with the warmest feelings of my heart and with that zeal which cannot be denied. . . . To them I have proved faithful- to them I am determined to prove faithful, until God calls me to resign up my breath.” And that definition seems good enough for me. My best friends radiate faith and love. Most importantly that faith and faithfulness, not being to me, but to the God that I love and that I serve. In putting Him first, they become the best type of friend one can have and the love I feel from them perhaps is as one popular LDS songs goes a “window to His love”.

Mexico!

I’ve never had that bug, you know, the one where people are just itching to get out of the country and discover all the cool travel destinations everyone has seen in the media or read about in a book. I never had the traveling bug- and then I went to Mexico.
We spent ten days as a family as international travelers. The following is my list of what I considered my top items.

1) We stayed the first couple days in a Bed and Breakfast in Valladolid run by an American who lives down there. La Casa de Hamacas offers its visitors beds and also hammocks to sleep in as well as excellent food made by locals that the owner has hired. Dennis, the owner, is one of the nicest guys I’ve met and is knowledgeable about how to make the most of one’s experience in that area of the country.. Our family recommends this place to anyone and everyone. Dennis is very service oriented and was more than happy to provide us with opportunities to serve in the area. One of the highlights of the trip was visiting local Mayan villages with a translator who spoke Mayan (I translated back into English for my family) and delivering food and necessities to many families. We were humbled by the circumstances and appreciated the opportunity to see what we really take for granted.

2) We visited four different Mayan ruins. Chichen Itza, Ek Balam, Tulum, and Coba. I love the Mayan ruins. I am hoping in the next life that we will have a way in which we can visit/watch past civilizations and see what they were like. Our family favorite ruins were Ek Balam for a couple reasons. At Tulum and Chichen Itza you can’t walk around on the ruins. Coba, you can, but it is a little more spread about and very easily accessible to tourists for it’s proximity to Cancun. We really did like all of them, but Ek Balam was quite stunning and we loved one of the murals that was more intact than others. Another highlight of the ruins were that in Chichen Itza you can clap in front of the main pyramid and it will produce a sound that sounds like a bird call. This is due to the placement of the buildings that they built and how the sound waves bounce. It is way cool. And also there is shadow created once a year on the pyramid that looks like a snake crawling down the pyramid. They Mayans were genius. In Tulum, the buildings are placed so that the sun will shine through tiny windows depending on the months of the year, so that they could use their buildings as a calendar.

3)We enjoyed visiting Cenotes, underground water holes that are varied and beautiful. Are favorite was one where you could jump off a ledge from about twenty feet above the water.

4)In no particular order, we “love” how the road systems work and where often the lanes aren’t marked with lines, so a road might be two, four, or three and a half lanes. We really did love sampling various foods and fresh juices made by the locals. We discovered that in Mexico a waste basket is literally a waste basket, no toilet paper is flushed down their toilets. We discovered that Europeans believe in going topless on any beach they find. We were glad to know that we should always drink bottled water and even Addie, the three year old reminded us not to drink the water. We loved watching the storms come in over the ocean while we stayed at a beach house and I enjoyed speaking the language. We went snorkeling and few of us went on a turtle walk late at night and got to help baby sea turtles make their way to the ocean and watch a turtle land and build her nest and lay eggs and then leave (a two to three hour process!). We enjoyed going to a place called Hidden Worlds Cenote Park where you can ride ziplines (one that splashes into the water as well as ride a skycycle, which is a suspend bike which allows you to pedal on a wire to travel above the jungle and to enjoy the sights around you.

The best part by far was just being with the family. Spending time together and discovering a culture and a people that were new and different. I loved it. After the Mayan ruins, I definitely find myself wanting to explore all the ancient cultures and past cultures. That little traveling bug awoke inside me.

The Editor,
MARK

The Daily Honky Tonk 175th Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
175th Edition
May 29, 2009
4:42 PM
I’m taking a creative writing class in which I am supposed to write for 50 minutes a day 5 days a week. I’ve been enjoying that class a lot. One of the neat things is that for my homework, I can write a DHT. And so that is what I am trying to accomplish this morning. I was trying to write poetry, because that is the unit we are in, but I found myself too tired from going and watching the first showing of Pixar’s new movie “Up” last night.
The DHT doesn’t demand as much thinking time as does the poetry. Trying to think deep was making me sleepy! So here goes nothing.

On Right Wing Conservatives and Left Wing Liberals
Politics is one of those topics that I sometimes prefer to ignore, but don’t because I believe it is important to know what is going on. However, the contention and corruption that exists in the system, are factors that don’t please me. Granted, I’m not sure how much of that isn’t media hype and high emotions running outside of politicians. There has been for quite some time a mistrust of government. Corrupt government is a central part of many popular books, movies, and everyone enjoys talking about a scandal. I would be naïve to say there is no corruption, but I often wonder if it’s as much as everyone thinks or if because everyone thinks there is a lot, that politicians accept it as fact and go towards corruption.
When people ask me if I’m Democrat or Republican, I usually respond something similar to “Well, I guess I would generally lean more towards republican because of many conservative values, but I wouldn’t say I would never vote democrat. The morals of the candidate are very important.” One of the things that frustrates me in party politics is that it polarizes issues where I think we should be meeting somewhere in the middle. I would be most likely to vote for a candidate who tried to take what was good from both sides of the spectrum. However, we don’t really have that.
Candidates often seem to take the extremes of their parties platform- that is only generally speaking. On reflection, I’ve come to discover why that is. If we could lump everyone into three parties when it comes to politics, I would lump people into groups of Right Wing Conservative, Left Wing Liberals, and the Middle-grounders. The middle-grounders would actually be the largest group, they might hold some fairly strong opinions slanting in one direction or the other, but in general they don’t go for the extremes. The extreme end of Conservatives and Liberals would be groups that have large followings, but neither nearly as big as the middle-grounders. If this is in fact the case, why are things not more balanced? Well, it comes down to who actually cares. Middle-grounders accept things as they are, they try and look at things evenly. When it comes down to it they know there are fallacies in both major parties. They will vote for whichever fits more of their personal opinions, but they recognize there could be more agreement in the middle. Since there isn’t, and both sides contain some good things and some bad, they are content not to do anything. Extremists Left and Right polarize the issue in a very black and white way. They can rarely see the strengths of the other party’s argument. Suddenly, it is not an issue of merely voting, but rather a conquest not unlike the Holy Wars of the Middle Ages. Thank goodness they don’t try and resolve these issues by bloodshed. For liberal extremists, you have to make everyone be open minded . ..bending to the strengths of conservative values, would be putting ‘open mindedness” which would indeed be a crime, because that would be giving extreme conservatives some amount of rightness. As an extreme conservative, traditional values are threatened by the evil liberals. It doesn’t matter if a liberal has a good point because giving just a little would be giving liberals the open mindedness that they want and then they would think the conservatives agreed on that point. The emotions run so high and it becomes polarized. Their expressions become loud and very emotionally loaded, causing the opposing side to need to respond emotionally, causing both sides to polarize even more “We must be right because they are getting so upset about it, they wouldn’t get upset if they really believed they were right”. In the meantime, I just kind of think its all dumb.
Yet, as a Middle-grounder, how does one make a stand. If the middle-ground were to bring forth a significant voice, would something change? Or does one have to polarize something before anybody will notice it and talk about it? These are all questions that I haven’t come to an answer about. But, again, I’m a middle-grounder, its not so important. What can a President really do? They can’t write down laws and just make them happen, they have to go through a government. A Presidential campaign is not unlike a Student Council President, making promises that sound good, but aren’t feasible once you sit in office. No, students, your president will not be getting you another day off or new vending machines, its not in power. A U.S. President is not very different.

Movie Review- Pixar’s “Up”
I am constantly amazed that Pixar is able to steadily produce great film after great film. They not only amaze us showing off what their animation teams can do, but also by rich stories that are fun, entertaining, and meaningful. Pixar’s creative group is really just a group of excellent storytellers.
“Up” contains a very rich story. You kind of get the gist of the story from the previews. Old man, who wants to travel and adventure, causes his house to float by thousands of balloons and gets stuck with an annoying little kid. While the previews were hilarious and I did find much of the film to be quite funny, there are very serious overtones in this film. A couple times I found myself almost crying. Topics like death, the loneliness of old age, the profundity of loss, and the importance of faith to a promise were all serious themes that were explored in the rich story. One of my favorite parts about watching the movie was that it made me feel at different points that I was a kid again. As a little child one’s imagination soars free and the world is a place of adventure and excitement waiting to be discovered. “Up” successfully embodied that sense of wonder and amazement. All I’m really trying to say is that I highly recommend this movie.
The only thing I was disappointed about was that in the previews they announced Toy Story 3. . .I mean, really, that’s great news . . .but it’s not coming out till June 18, 2010.

Star Trek
Okay, so while I’m on movie reviews I should probably comment on Star Trek. That is another movie that is very much worth seeing. I think the thing that makes it such a good movie, is that it has such a talented cast, and a great script with great character development. Besides all that it is a good story and it’s settings and graphics are visually impressive and stimulating as well. The best description I could give of this movie is to compare it to the new Wolverine: X-Men Origins movie. Wolverine was entertaining, it had action, a decent story, and the graphics were pretty well done. However, after watching Star Trek, Wolverine seems like a half done project. I can’t pinpoint what makes the two movies different in their value, but I can describe what the difference feels like. Star Trek seems like it is a completed project, kind of like “Up”. It was a very well thought out production. Each scene has meaning and was a project that everyone gave their whole too. It is the difference between a C project and an A+ Project. Star Trek screams I’m A+ material, this film took some serious work.

Song Lyrics to close
“Under Control” by Parachute
“Because I’ve kept my heart under control,
But baby, all this time its taken its toll
Said I tried to but I can not back what’s deep in my soul”
*Everytime I include lyrics in the DHT, when I got to look at them, I am surprised how much meaning is lost without the music behind the words. It’s rather startling.

The Editor,
MARK

The Daily Honky Tonk 174th Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
174th Edition
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
4:12 PM
Somehow waking up from a dream where two people close to me died, and then finding out in reality that one of my friends is engaged screamed to me for a DHT. I’m almost amazed that I’m taking time to do this. For the spring term I’m taking a Creative Writing Class, Fundamentals of Literary Criticism, and a Spanish Writing Class. . . Which pretty much equates to a LOT of writing. I’m really enjoying it, but sometimes it seems like reading and writing are all I do.
Okay, I can’t really say that is all I do. It’s spring time and I play a lot- tubing down the river, shooting hoops, volleyball, hikes, running, walks, and late night movies. I like how people have play time now since most people are either just working or taking fewer credits. Anyway, let’s officially start this.

Art Therapy
So, I’ve avoided using the DHT as an emotional release since making it home from the mission. Since that was one of the main purposes in high school, I don’t have that need as much anymore. Granted, I still go through episodes, but I am not as quick to want to share them with everyone. I’ve become a big fan of cognitive therapy which focuses in on changing irrational thoughts and were the basis for the crazy papers that my mission president gave me. Still at times, I’ve just wanted to spill my feelings out in words. Playing piano and guitar can be very effective, but I still find writing to be even more effective in releasing emotion. Yesterday I completed my first draft of a very sad story . . . And as I was discovering what the one character’s past was really supposed to be, I almost couldn’t write it .. .but I knew what needed to happen to explain everything else. I was thinking about writers like Earnest Hemingway and wondered if they used writing as therapy; I think there is a good chance.

A Smidgen of Poetry
I am part way through the poetry unit in our class for Fundamentals of Literature and we are start poetry in our Creative Writing Class tomorrow. I have not been fond of poetry in general. If it is to hard to abstract an overly abstract meaning from a poem then I find it frustrating. And while I do get an urge to read a good book, I rarely have the urge to sit down and read a collection of poems. However, I’ve found some poems that I really like and I thought I would share some with you.

**This poem is by my friend Lamora. I know Lamora from the singles ward in Champaign-Urbana. When I learned that she was a writer we started sharing pieces of writing. She gave me permission to share some of her writings with you. For today, I chose this poem.

You Are What You Eat-Lamora Delp

I sit quietly,
my eyes devouring
the night outside
my window.

I am the ration of night herself.
Deep and forgiving
and fleeting.

I am the immortal chocolate oak,
reaching, stretching, clawing
upwards.

I am a sugar crystal of star,
bright, and alone.
Sometimes millions
and millions
of years
away.

I am the sliver of moon.
A white, chewed-off
bit
of fingernail, scratching
the dark.

Epitaph by Timothy Steele
Here lies Sir Tact, a diplomatic fellow
Whose silence was not golden, but just yellow.
**I love how Steele points out the dangers of being tactful to an extreme.

Anonymous Victorian poem without a name
Here’s a little ditty that you really ought to know,
Horses “sweat” and men “perspire,” but ladies only “glow.”

Recital by John Updike

ROGER BOBO GIVES
RECITAL ON TUBA
-Headline in the Times

Eskimos in Manitoba,
Barracuda off Aruba,
Cock an ear when Roger Bobo
Starts to solo on the tuba.
Men of every station – Pooh-Bah,
Nabob, bozo, toff, and habo -
Cry in unison, “Indubi-
Tably, there is simply nobo-

Dy who oompahs on the tubo,
Solo, quite like Roger Bobo.”

**I picked this one for its ability to emphasize meaning and the sound of a tuba through the sounds of each word choice rather than there specific meaning.

I think that is enough writing for today. I enjoyed it for the time being. However, I’ve been sitting in the same spot in the library for the last couple hours and it’s time to move.
The Editor,
Mark

The Daily Honky Tonk 173rd Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
173rd Edition
February 20, 2009
2:26 AM
Hello again. How long have you been standing there? Sorry, I didn’t see you.

I got some spare time on my hands and felt like writing. Writing makes me happy. However, the article from this DHT that I’m going to recommend isn’t written by me. It’s called “Love: A Poet’s Nightmare”. Please read it. It’s an awesome piece of writing. I think you’ll enjoy it.

A couple random notes:
I just got into play acting in 4 or 5 different roles! I didn’t think I was going to get to do a play. . .but this is perfect. The play is Bertolt Brecht’s “Mother Courage and Her Children”. I had 3 and 1/2 hours of play practice tonight and loved every minute of it. I’ve missed theater a lot. I love it because it helps me to relax and loosen up as an individual.
I watched “No Reservations” tonight and was very impressed. I love movies about “control freaks” and stories that focus on the individual getting past their controlling natures. Naturally I connect with the control freak and try to get an outside look at myself and how I can handle situations better. I’m not so concerned about removing my control freakishness as I was in the past. . . I’m just concerned about keeping it in check and being able to recognize it and react to it in different ways.
On sleeping. You will notice that this email is coming to you from the early morning. The other evening I laid in by bed from 10-11:30 without my mind racing and I couldn’t fall asleep. I got up and talked to people till I thought I was finally tired enough to sleep. I laid back down around 2 and when I checked my phone a couple minutes before I drifted off it was almost three. . .ergh. Last night I slept 9 hours. . .and tonight, I was alive again and will unfortunately be tired at the time when I need to be awake :(

**Note about the author: Jenika Beck is in the singles ward in Champaign Urbana. Although, seeing as she got engaged on Valentine’s Day, I guess she won’t be there for too much longer. She is a graduate from Yale and she is continuing her education at the U of I. I loved this piece of writing and got her permission to include it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Love: A Poet's Nightmare- Jenika Beck
Friday, February 13, 2009 at 1:25am
Have you ever been in a group discussion and thought of an excellent point, only to have it swiped by someone who was a nanosecond faster at raising their hand than you? Or read something in a book and came up with a really great idea, only to keep reading and find that very idea detailed in the following paragraph? (Hey! How dare they print my thoughts!) And name me one thing more irritating than the car in front of you swooping down upon that perfect parking spot merely because they happened to be ahead of you. Yes, infinitely irksome.

Yet such is my life since I fell in love.

I became aware of this when I sat down to write a Valentine's Day poem for my Danny. I poured out my soul only to find the result no more creative than your average Backstreet Boys ballad. Do I really have nothing better to offer than the syrupy musical refuse of the 1990s?

Well, no, but....all the good stuff is taken. Poets have been robbing the shelves of the English language for centuries. First, they stole all the obvious ‘feeling’ words (love, tenderness, kindness, sweetness), and the terms of endearment (sweetheart, sugarpie, honeybunch), then they made off with the simple analogies and anthropomorphisms (sweeter than honey, time stood still), and rounded up the extended metaphors (I miss you like the fields miss the rain). Alarmed by their dwindling stock, they became desperate and started raking up the made-up words, like "snookums." So in sum, when Robert Burns wrote of how his love is like a red red rose, he ruined it all for the rest of us. Thanks a lot, Robbie – how long did you have to chew on your fountain pen before that flash of inspiration? No one would say "O my love is like a red red hydrangea bush." Forget literary genius, these folks just got there first.

The more I become aware of this phenomenon, the more disturbing it all seems. Take, for example, the unsettling trend of adding the suffix "-poo" to the end of a beloved's name, as in "Frankie-poo." Or worse - a poem Danny once quoted to me: "Sho' as the vines twine round the stump, you are my darlin', sugar lump."

Does anyone else sense the direness of the situation? We cannot even use the words 'lump' or 'poo' without plagiarizing someone else's affection!

I thought for a moment that I would take refuge in the nethermost depths of Websters Unabridged Dictionary, only to find that some smart-aleck named Shakespeare stole all those about 500 years ago (the cretin!). Well he wasn't exactly working from a blank slate either. Go read the Roman legend of Pyramus and Thisbe and then tell me what a stroke of genius you think Romeo and Juliet was. Shakespeare lucked out because the Romans died and their language with them (and note: the Romans pilfered the idea from the Greeks). And for the record, I happen to have an answer for Shakespeare’s timeless query "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" No you shall not! Leave something for the rest of us, man!

Is it my fault that I arrived late on the literary scene, only to watch those last crumbs of phrases like "How sweet it is to be loved by you" or "I got you, babe" snatched from my famished mouth, with only the residue of a tired cliché left upon my lips? I wish I had been the first to fall in love, so that my pen could have gushed with depth of feeling, instead of falling on its knees in a desert of available originality.

So, to heck with it. Since I apparently can't come up with anything that hasn't been said for centuries, to Danny I simply offer a few lines from that great smart-aleck, William Shakespeare:

As easy might I from my self depart
As from my soul which in thy breast doth lie.
That is my home of love; if I have ranged,
Like him that travels I return again.

Or the same thing said more modernly by that standard bearer of high culture, 98 Degrees:

"Cause I'm losin' my mind when you're not around
It's all because of you."

I love you, Danny. Happy Valentine's Day to my sweet hydrangea bush. (Sorry, "rose" was taken.)


A Smattering of the News- Mark Tonkinson
At no time in my life have I regularly watched the news. Nor have I ever read the newspaper on a regular basis. I do enjoy reading from Newsweek. I also will read anything anyone points me towards from the Wallstreet Journal (well, I guess technically my dad is the only one who points me there) and I will read any article from major magazines people point me two. . .but two of them have recently caught my attention.
The first was an article that my mom saw on the computer while we were talking on Skype. Alec Greven, a nine year old wrote a book that is doing very well in it’s sales rate called “How to talk to Girls”. Unfortunately, I haven’t had the opportunity to read it. . .but I do know from the article that its a 9 year olds advice on dating. Does it scare anybody else that something like that can get published? Even if printed with a chuckle and a knowing smile; something makes me uneasy about that. I’m not sure what it is. Nor do I suppose it matters. Perhaps its the fulfillment of the prophecies that the wise would be astounded by the last days! :)
*to find this article just type Alec Greven “How to talk to Girls” into google and you’ll find a bunch. Speaking of Google I knew that it is used as a verb in English, however, I did not know that it was a verb in Spanish- the word is googliar. Goo-glee-are is the pronunciation- who knew?

While in reality, that one only brought a discomfort similar to that which one sometimes experiences on a first day, another article bothered me at a more profound level. The article comes from our friends in the United Kingdom. The title of the article, “Is it selfish to have more than two children?”. Now, before reading the rest of what I have to say, I want you to take a moment and try and think in what area of life you might be selfish in. Got it? Okay, well the thesis of the article, or the controversy that is presented is that it’s selfish to have two children because of the damage it does to the eco-system. I was astounded that I could even be reading an article. It sounds like something I would read in a literary work like “1984”, you know, like, a book you read about a hypothesized world where the humans make vastly different decisions about life that kind of bother you at the core. In “1984” it presents a “Utopia”. . .but not really a Utopia. If I had seen this presented as part of the plot for the Twilight Zone, I would have thought it was a creative story. Seeing as it actually appeared in International News is quite disconcerting.
* http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/7884138.stm


Top Ten Songs
**Music definitely doesn’t have the same appeal that it used too. But I still have some favorites that stay in circulation for a while. These are my top ten. I like doing an occasional top ten list. I did not try and put them into an actual order. . I just listed them as they came to my mind.
The Fray- Syndicate- I actually like this one purely for the sound- somehow I still haven’t listened to the words for its meaning. That’s way unusual for me.
Don’t I Hold You – Wheat – Here is another song that I picked for sound-I watched Elizabethtown a couple weeks ago and I loved the feelings that it brought to the scenes.
White Horse- Taylor Swift – I’ve had this one stuck in my head. . .I love her imagery (no Caleb, don’t confuse that with her image, though, yes, she is beautfiul :) ).
Q- Cartel- “Still it always seems just like, I’ll never know . .. If you’re not getting answers, ask better questions” Or ask someone whose interested in talking to you.
When it Rains-Paramore “You made yourself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole and convinced yourself that its not the reason you don’t see the sun anymore” Its good to remember when I get in mental ruts that its generally me digging the pit. When I’m smart I stop digging and start building stairs back out .. .I take charge of my mind!
All We Are-One Republic- One of the things I love about music is best displayed here. In the intro, as best I can tell he plays a total of about six notes on the piano, but it produces this epic sound by hitting the same notes in an interesting rhythm, plus I love the imagery in his words “I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong, black and white didn’t fit you, and all along, you were shaded with patience”
A Little Too Not Over You-David Archuleta – it’s like John Mayer’s “Back to You” accept “Back to You” its a better song in my opinion. However, its one of those songs that struck an emotional chord that resonates in all of us at some time or another.
Touch My Hand- David Archuleta – Simple Driving Piano and Percussion- the formula is simple. . .plus, it’s about taking chances on a relationship “Try to reach out to you touch my hand, reach out as far as you can, only me, only you and the band. Can’t let the music stop, can’t let this feeling end, cause if I do it will all be over I’ll never see you again.” I’m not a very big risk taker when it comes to girls and relationships. Somehow, I’ve convinced one of my roommates that I’m a “Pimp”. Granted I’m not a fan of the word “Pimp”- because it doesn’t describe me and it implies a horrible use of women. Stepping off my moral soapbox, I think it’s funny because I’m still the same. . .I’m what one of my companions defined as “the best friend guy”. I still seek lots of girl friendships.
Time After Time-Quietdrive (not Cindy Lauper)- It’s interesting to think that Cindy Lauper produced several fairly big hits seeing as I think she has such a weird voice. . .but I asked the same thing about Modest Mouse and this one other song on the radio called Paper Planes by M.I.A. (I just looked it up so I could find the name, and as I took a little time to get past the wierdness of her voice, I realized it not only sounds strange, but also is in the least not very uplifting.) Enough for long side notes. I love this cover. I think it better conveys the emotional complexities (those two words are academic fluff!)
Learning to Fall-Boys like Girls- this is definitely the most recent addition to my top ten list. With just the title ideas emerge like “Falling with Style”, “Losing Gracefully” etc.

Some Favorite Quotes as of Late

Hitch: Basic Principles - no woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" Now, she might say "This is a really bad time for me," or something like "I just need some space," or my personal favorite "I'm really into my career right now." You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? 'Cause she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying! It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is "Uh, get away from me now," or possibly "Try harder, stupid," but which one is it? 60% of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth. Of course she's going to lie to you! She's a nice person! She doesn't want to hurt your feelings! What else she going to say? She doesn't even know you... yet. Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it, and that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic Principles - no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom.

**I watched Hitch again recently. Will Smith is one of my favorite actors by far. Not only is he a very talented individual, but I’ve never heard anything bad about him. That impresses me.
I like Hitch, simply because it gives me such confidence. Come on, if Albert can win over the heart of Ms. Alegra Cole, then what guy can’t sweep a girl off her feet? Ha ha . ..reality is a little more complicated, but there are some very poignant truths. Like, the whole part about women lying . .. It sure is refreshing when we say what we really mean rather than burying it in our half truths for the sake of politeness. Granted, its a reflection of our society and our more closed culture. It’s a method of not stepping on each other’s toes. Kind of like we prefer to remain oblivious to our neighbors because we don’t want them to think us weird or a bother. Ha!
Realizing that writing can come off different, I’m kind of laughing at things, fully conscientious of the many times I conform to the same societal standards of attitudes and responses.

“Now it’s too late for you and your white horse to come around.”-Taylor Swift

**I’m glad that she stands up and doesn’t let the chivalrous guy back into her life!

The Editor,
Mark

The Daily Honky Tonk 172nd Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
172nd Edition
Sunday, January 18, 2009
10:25 PM

Hmmm. I’ve been taking things way too seriously. I’ve been taking life way too seriously. I’m trying to run life at a sprint rather than as a marathon.

BYU is amazing. I love it here. I love my classes. I love my professors.

I was going to write because I’ve been thinking a lot. I think I’m going to write about what I need to do, and that is not take life so seriously.

Living in the Present
There are three time based lenses through which we can live our life. We can live in the past, in the present, or in the future; or perhaps I should add a fourth one because idealistically you learn from the past, live in the present, and prepare for the future. Realistically, I kick myself for the past, enjoy a few moments, and I obsess over making the future excellent.
Today we went to see my Uncle Brent and Aunt Kori in Salt Lake. They are a really fun couple with a beautiful new little girl named Samantha. They were teasing me for not skipping my two classes to ski with Dad and Caleb on Friday. “I never wish I would have studied more or spent more time in class” Kori teased. . ..especially not for the likes of Physical Science and Music 101. The teasing, and other discussion about college life, caused me to pause and look at myself.
I did one thing really good in coming to BYU. Instead of trying to predict what college life was going to be, I’ve just enjoyed watching it reveal itself to me. At the same time, I’m realizing that I’m trying to run college at a rate by which I will be married, graduated, have a solid job, AND have a kid on the way in a year. That’s just ridiculous. Ha ha. I’m trying to laugh at myself.. . .but its kind of sick.
I’m always trying to prepare myself to get the most out of the future. But if your always doing that, you can’t have any presents to get the most out of.
My current roommate and former missionary companion Scott, said to me once as a missionary; “Elder Tonkinson, when you are relaxed you are the most fun person to be around, we have so much fun. But when your stressed, it stresses me out.” Everytime I get stressed, I think about that. I try and relax myself so I can be fun.
I can feel myself tightening up as I start to go into sprint mode. Let’s see, to complete my major, I need these classes, the quickest I can take them is in how few semesters? Run. If I’m really careful about who I date and I only date girls who I could see myself dating, then I could get married in the next year or a little bit more. Run. Run. I need to get a job next semester so I can save money to be married, to have a family, and to really support myself without any help from the parents. Run. Run. Run. Faster. Faster. Faster. Suddenly I start asking what I need to cut out. Do I need to cut out music? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with music. I can’t see myself making a fulltime profession out of it. I don’t want to be flirtatious and playful. . .or I might send the wrong signal to a girl I’m not interested in. Suddenly I tie myself to some imagined future, to some imagined outcome that I’m trying to control. The control freak comes out in me. I mean come on. . .. I couldn’t honestly cut out music just because it will get in the way of me speeding through school or because I don’t think I’ll make a profession out of it.
In these moments, taking life too seriously, I start to try and view myself. The character I see is eccentric, a little weird, excited when there is something deep to talk about, rather boring and non conversational on a basic conversational level, so driven in progressing forward that it scares people. (It’s what I hear when people tell me “to enjoy it”, “to not be too set on getting married” and other things .. .lots of people have said that. It scares me that what seems weird to other people often seems rational to me.
What I’m doing right now is what my English Professor calls spewing “emotional vomit”. Ergh.
This is the consequence of taking things too seriously; I start to not like myself. I start to see, or imagine the worst parts of me that everyone else must see in me, but not tell me because they are polite. You know what I’m talking about. .. .like my Grammy Tonkinson. She has severe paranoia (which has been lessened slightly by alzhiemer’s.) We may talk to her and tell her that her fears are irrational, but we don’t walk around saying, Grammy you are paranoid! Nor do you tell the one really awkward kid at school who seems clueless about it, that he’s awkward .. ..obliviousness is bliss, right? I just find myself trying to guess all the things people see that they don’t want to tell me about.
Now relax.
Rationale tells me this. No matter what I am really like, every person will percieve me a little differently. The same thing that some people will love me for, others will despise and find to be annoying. Therefore it does very little good to worry about what others think or interpret from your actions. Recognizing and acting on my most deep motives will allow me to be happy, despite how others may view it.
Rationale also tells me that life is not a race, and everything will come in due time. Because I trust in God, all things will work together for my good. Trying to do it all on my timing and in my way will stifle growth and will stop the Atonement and the Lord’s hand from working in my life.
Thirdly, being serious about life is an addiction, and like all other addictions it leads me to misery. So quit it.
Fourth, there is a lot of time ahead of me. It doesn’t, can’t, won’t, shouldn’t, all be done by tomorrow. Heavenly Father wants me to be happy and to enjoy life. If I’m not enjoying it, I’m doing something wrong.
Fifth, there really is very little I can control. When I do try and control everything around me, Heavenly Father allows it to happen the way it was supposed to, despite my best efforts to have it my way.
Sixth, the scriptures and my Patriarchal Blessing do contain the promises and directions for my life .. However, they do not need to be completely understood, fulfilled by tomorrow or anytime soon. I just need to be faithful.
Finally, I need to come up with some new coping ideas for pulling out of stress into seriousness. I need to figure out what has worked before. Experimenting and doing things that I wouldn’t normally often allows me to better understand my limits, and to discover where I’m actually more relaxed and comfortable than I assume. Not thinking at all about the future. Spending significant time pushing out thoughts of the future is often a great stress reliever to me. I already spend so much time planning for it, that I know I’ll still be headed in that direction. In fact, just by trusting in the Lord I will move in the right direction. And if at some point I think too little of the future, I know that I’ll be prompted back in the right direction. The Spirit never lets one stray too much if you are always trying to give heed to it. That was a comforting lesson from my mission and probably the most powerful for relaxing. If I let go of trying to take over everything in my life. If I just continued doing good, being good, and went out trying my best, I didn’t have to preoccupy myself over doing every little thing just right. The Atonement became an enabling power, allowing me to live. To really live, to really enjoy the moments, instead of worrying about the moments. Faith based living brings joy. I know that.
I feel happier now. If I can keep that idea in my head, I’ll do fine for a few months. Just live life. Keep doing the right things and all the little things will work out. Life does turn on small hinges, small things do have eternal consequences . ..but because of the Atonement, and because I am following the Savior, fretting over the small things will not help me progress and shows too much confidence in myself and my abilities and not His power and His ability to guide my life.

Okay, I’m done. This was a good writing session. Writing is a great form of therapy :).

The Editor,
Mark

The Daily Honky Tonk 171st Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
171st Edition
Monday, December 22, 2008
1:00 AM

Today, it is officially cold in Illinois. Its the first time I’ve actually thought it overly bitter. At the same time, the cold has brought good things with it; the snow, friends, my parents anniversary, cuddling up with good books and movies, and ice sliding on the driveway with Caleb.
I started reading various authors commentaries on writing. The result would seem to be great feelings of inadequacy, and also the realization that there are thousands of people trying to do the same thing. Just like music. But I do not find it a good enough reason to quit writing. And, well, I’ve started again pondering plots for novels. One benefit of reading the commentaries was I discovered that my fatal mistake in trying to write a book has been that its never been thoroughly planned. Like music, I’ve always considered writing a discovery activity.. . When I write music, I tend to sit at a piano and play around, and rather than writing a song, I feel like I’m uncovering a buried treasure. When it rings true, when it, for a lack of better words “speaks to me”, then I keep it as part of the song. There is a song that I started to write in High School, and just a week or so ago, I discovered another part of it.. . .I part that I have been missing and trying to find. I could feel the lack for it.
As I write these things, I started to wander to whom these words will appeal, and also to whom will they cause to turn their heads. We all interpret the world a bit differently I suppose.
Today, I actually am pleased to announce that another writer has contributed to this DHT. A dear friend and mentor, Scott Wilson recently wrote a piece about his Thanksgiving trip. With his permission, I share this with view. I do enjoy his writing, particularly because of the funny twists he gives to his personal insights on life happenings.

A Texas Thanksgiving- by Scott Wilson
As many of you know, we spent Thanksgiving with Jon and Lisa in Texas. This was our first trip to the Lone Star State since leaving Austin in 2002 for the greener grass of Illinois. One of the nice things about living in Colorado is that we are within a day's drive of all of our family members (with the notable exception of a couple of wayward Michigander families). We made trips earlier this year to Utah and Idaho, and we spent Thanksgiving a few years ago in Kansas, so we decided to invite ourselves over to the home of our favorite Texan family for the week of Thanksgiving.

We arrived Saturday night after an admittedly long drive made slightly shorter by Diana obeying the "spirit" of the speed-limit laws. As you can imagine, for cousins that had not seen each other for nearly a year, it took our kids a while to warm up to the Schaack boys. This lasted for about 1.2 seconds, after which time our kids played together as if they had never been apart. We like the Schaack boys. Caleb has quite a commanding presence for a four-year-old. He will often talk to those around him, including adults, as though he is the one in charge. We decided that he will likely be the CEO of a major corporation someday (or some comparable position). And Jacob is just so darn cute. Our bedtime routine included my telling episodes of the classic tale of Sam and the Magic Blanket, and Caleb correcting me when I made slight continuity errors in the story.

Fortunately, Jon had the week off, so we played the whole week. Jon and Lisa took us on an extensive tour of all of the exciting tourist attractions of the Dallas area which included the following: the X in the road marking the spot where Kennedy was assassinated. After that, we spent much of the rest of our time visiting the playgrounds in the area. We went to a total of six playgrounds, and our kids could not get enough of them. This was partly because of the sunshiny 70s weather we enjoyed for most of the week.

We were pleasantly surprised to find out that the Phillips, our good friends from Austin, just happen to be living in the Schaack's ward. Jared Jepson, my friend from high school, is also now living in the Dallas area, and we took advantage of that fact by talking on the phone with Jared several times, but never actually coordinating a time to meet. As you know, though, talking with someone on the phone when you're in the same metro area is much better than talking on the phone with them when you're a couple states apart. Besides, Jared and I are related, he being my sister's husband's sister's husband's brother, so I'm sure we'll have the opportunity to meet up with him in the future.

So we had a great time with the Schaacks. The best part of the entire trip, of course, was the $1.55-per-gallon gas. We just wanted to drive around in circles for a while to keep burning that cheap, cheap gas. To make up for the money we saved in gas, I decided to get a speeding ticket on the way home. This occurred near a small town in west Texas where the local government has apparently decided that the only way for them to balance their budget is to give huge fines to drivers passing by their small town who are going nine mph over the limit, smugly ignoring the well known rule that policemen are only supposed to give tickets to those going at least ten over (which is why my cruise control was set at nine over). Regardless, we were happy to make our substantial contribution towards the city park's new merry-go-round.

OK, the actual best part of the trip was the reaffirmation that we have a great family, and boy do we enjoy spending time with them. Lisa is amazing with her creative and artistic and homemaking skills. She makes Martha Stewart look like . . . like an engineer (for lack of a better comparison). And Jon kept us entertained with emergency-room stories (accompanied by vivid photographs) involving teeth (or a lack thereof) and blood and gore.

Being as it is the holiday season, my company recently gave us the cheerful news that approximately 16% of ULA employees will be laid off next year. I'm not worried, though. A company would never lay off an engineer whose football team is currently ranked #3 in the nation. If that's not job security, I don't know what is.

Speaking of college sports, I've mentioned in the past that one of the great benefits of having attended three universities is that at any one time, at least one of my teams will be doing well. I've recently realized that there is an even greater benefit. In almost any situation I can instantly make an enemy. You see, I've attended universities in the Mountain West, Big 12, and Big 10 conferences. It is quite frequent that people I meet have attended a school in one of those conferences, and it helps that at least two of my schools (BYU and Texas) regularly beat up on their conference foes. For instance, yesterday I attended a presentation by a company made up mostly of University of Wyoming graduates who were trying to sell our company some software. When I mentioned I was a BYU alumnus, the CEO of the company instantly started talking about how badly the Cougars beat the Cowboys this year, and said we might as well call the meeting off—that he couldn't sell his software to a Cougar. That's the kind of immediate animosity that I am capable of creating with almost anyone.

**Thanks Scott :)

Seeing the Value in Others
The following story is from a talk by Vaughn J. Featherstone “A Man After God’s Own Heart”. I found it on my mission and used It often for teaching purposes. I like it because it teaches many valuable principles. My favorite principles to discuss surrounding this story are the potential that we have as God’s children, seeing others as God’s children, drawing out the good in people, and the power of love inspired service. I think the story will speak well enough for itself.

Marian Wright Edelman told the story of Jean Thompson, who was a teacher:

On the first day of school, Jean Thompson told her students, "Boys and girls, I love you all the same." Teachers lie. Little Teddy Stollard was a boy Jean Thompson did not like. He slouched in his chair, didn't pay attention, his mouth hung open in a stupor, his eyes were always unfocused, his clothes were mussed, his hair unkempt, and he smelled. He was an unattractive boy and Jean Thompson didn't like him.

Teachers have records. And Jean Thompson had Teddy's. First grade: "Teddy's a good boy. He shows promise in his work and attitude. But he has a poor home situation." Second grade: "Teddy is a good boy. He does what he is told. But he is too serious. His mother is terminally ill." Third grade: "Teddy is falling behind in his work; he needs help. His mother died this year. His father shows no interest." Fourth grade: "Teddy is in deep waters; he is in need of psychiatric help. He is totally withdrawn."

Christmas came, and the boys and girls brought their presents and piled them on her desk. They were all in brightly colored paper except for Teddy's. His was wrapped in brown paper and held together with scotch tape. And on it, scribbled in crayon, were the words, "For Miss Thompson from Teddy." She tore open the brown paper and out fell a rhinestone bracelet with most of the stones missing and a bottle of cheap perfume that was almost empty. When the other boys and girls began to giggle she had enough sense to put some of the perfume on her wrist, put on the bracelet, hold her wrist up to the children and say, "Doesn't it smell lovely? Isn't the bracelet pretty?" And taking their cue from the teacher, they all agreed.

At the end of the day, when all the children had left, Teddy lingered, came over to her desk and said, "Miss Thompson, all day long, you smelled just like my mother. And her bracelet, that's her bracelet, it looks real nice on you, too. I'm really glad you like my presents." And when he left, she got down on her knees and buried her head in her chair and she begged God to forgive her.

The next day when the children came, she was a different teacher. She was a teacher with a heart. And she cared for all the children, but especially those who needed help. Especially Teddy. She tutored him and put herself out for him.

By the end of the year, Teddy had caught up with a lot of the children and was even ahead of some. Several years later, Jean Thompson got this note:

Dear Miss Thompson:

I'm graduating and I'm second in my high school class. I wanted you to be the first to know. Love, Teddy.

Four years later she got another note:

Dear Miss Thompson:

I wanted you to be the first to know. The university has not been easy, but I like it. Love, Teddy Stollard.

Four years later, there was another note:

Dear Miss Thompson:

As of today, I am Theodore J. Stollard, M.D. How about that? I wanted you to be the first to know. I'm going to be married in July. I want you to come and sit where my mother would have sat, because you're the only family I have. Dad died last year.

And she went and she sat where his mother should have sat because she deserved to be there.

[Deval L. Patrick, "Struggling for Civil Rights Now," Vital Speeches of the Day 61, no. 3 (November 15 1994):93­p;94]

I think that is the kind of thing we talk about when we talk about having a heart like unto God's own heart. Otherwise we'll live like the person in this little verse by Henry Drummond:

I lived for myself, I thought for myself,
For myself, and none beside--
Just as if Jesus had never lived,
As if He had never died.

[The Greatest Thing in the World (New York: Thomas Y. Crowell Company, n.d.), p. 40]


It’s late because we just got home from picking up my Aunt Kristl (my dad’s sister). It’s good to have her with us. It was weird to see the airport again. And I’m going to see it again soon.

The Editor,
Mark