The Daily Honky Tonk 171st Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
171st Edition
Monday, December 22, 2008
1:00 AM

Today, it is officially cold in Illinois. Its the first time I’ve actually thought it overly bitter. At the same time, the cold has brought good things with it; the snow, friends, my parents anniversary, cuddling up with good books and movies, and ice sliding on the driveway with Caleb.
I started reading various authors commentaries on writing. The result would seem to be great feelings of inadequacy, and also the realization that there are thousands of people trying to do the same thing. Just like music. But I do not find it a good enough reason to quit writing. And, well, I’ve started again pondering plots for novels. One benefit of reading the commentaries was I discovered that my fatal mistake in trying to write a book has been that its never been thoroughly planned. Like music, I’ve always considered writing a discovery activity.. . When I write music, I tend to sit at a piano and play around, and rather than writing a song, I feel like I’m uncovering a buried treasure. When it rings true, when it, for a lack of better words “speaks to me”, then I keep it as part of the song. There is a song that I started to write in High School, and just a week or so ago, I discovered another part of it.. . .I part that I have been missing and trying to find. I could feel the lack for it.
As I write these things, I started to wander to whom these words will appeal, and also to whom will they cause to turn their heads. We all interpret the world a bit differently I suppose.
Today, I actually am pleased to announce that another writer has contributed to this DHT. A dear friend and mentor, Scott Wilson recently wrote a piece about his Thanksgiving trip. With his permission, I share this with view. I do enjoy his writing, particularly because of the funny twists he gives to his personal insights on life happenings.

A Texas Thanksgiving- by Scott Wilson
As many of you know, we spent Thanksgiving with Jon and Lisa in Texas. This was our first trip to the Lone Star State since leaving Austin in 2002 for the greener grass of Illinois. One of the nice things about living in Colorado is that we are within a day's drive of all of our family members (with the notable exception of a couple of wayward Michigander families). We made trips earlier this year to Utah and Idaho, and we spent Thanksgiving a few years ago in Kansas, so we decided to invite ourselves over to the home of our favorite Texan family for the week of Thanksgiving.

We arrived Saturday night after an admittedly long drive made slightly shorter by Diana obeying the "spirit" of the speed-limit laws. As you can imagine, for cousins that had not seen each other for nearly a year, it took our kids a while to warm up to the Schaack boys. This lasted for about 1.2 seconds, after which time our kids played together as if they had never been apart. We like the Schaack boys. Caleb has quite a commanding presence for a four-year-old. He will often talk to those around him, including adults, as though he is the one in charge. We decided that he will likely be the CEO of a major corporation someday (or some comparable position). And Jacob is just so darn cute. Our bedtime routine included my telling episodes of the classic tale of Sam and the Magic Blanket, and Caleb correcting me when I made slight continuity errors in the story.

Fortunately, Jon had the week off, so we played the whole week. Jon and Lisa took us on an extensive tour of all of the exciting tourist attractions of the Dallas area which included the following: the X in the road marking the spot where Kennedy was assassinated. After that, we spent much of the rest of our time visiting the playgrounds in the area. We went to a total of six playgrounds, and our kids could not get enough of them. This was partly because of the sunshiny 70s weather we enjoyed for most of the week.

We were pleasantly surprised to find out that the Phillips, our good friends from Austin, just happen to be living in the Schaack's ward. Jared Jepson, my friend from high school, is also now living in the Dallas area, and we took advantage of that fact by talking on the phone with Jared several times, but never actually coordinating a time to meet. As you know, though, talking with someone on the phone when you're in the same metro area is much better than talking on the phone with them when you're a couple states apart. Besides, Jared and I are related, he being my sister's husband's sister's husband's brother, so I'm sure we'll have the opportunity to meet up with him in the future.

So we had a great time with the Schaacks. The best part of the entire trip, of course, was the $1.55-per-gallon gas. We just wanted to drive around in circles for a while to keep burning that cheap, cheap gas. To make up for the money we saved in gas, I decided to get a speeding ticket on the way home. This occurred near a small town in west Texas where the local government has apparently decided that the only way for them to balance their budget is to give huge fines to drivers passing by their small town who are going nine mph over the limit, smugly ignoring the well known rule that policemen are only supposed to give tickets to those going at least ten over (which is why my cruise control was set at nine over). Regardless, we were happy to make our substantial contribution towards the city park's new merry-go-round.

OK, the actual best part of the trip was the reaffirmation that we have a great family, and boy do we enjoy spending time with them. Lisa is amazing with her creative and artistic and homemaking skills. She makes Martha Stewart look like . . . like an engineer (for lack of a better comparison). And Jon kept us entertained with emergency-room stories (accompanied by vivid photographs) involving teeth (or a lack thereof) and blood and gore.

Being as it is the holiday season, my company recently gave us the cheerful news that approximately 16% of ULA employees will be laid off next year. I'm not worried, though. A company would never lay off an engineer whose football team is currently ranked #3 in the nation. If that's not job security, I don't know what is.

Speaking of college sports, I've mentioned in the past that one of the great benefits of having attended three universities is that at any one time, at least one of my teams will be doing well. I've recently realized that there is an even greater benefit. In almost any situation I can instantly make an enemy. You see, I've attended universities in the Mountain West, Big 12, and Big 10 conferences. It is quite frequent that people I meet have attended a school in one of those conferences, and it helps that at least two of my schools (BYU and Texas) regularly beat up on their conference foes. For instance, yesterday I attended a presentation by a company made up mostly of University of Wyoming graduates who were trying to sell our company some software. When I mentioned I was a BYU alumnus, the CEO of the company instantly started talking about how badly the Cougars beat the Cowboys this year, and said we might as well call the meeting off—that he couldn't sell his software to a Cougar. That's the kind of immediate animosity that I am capable of creating with almost anyone.

**Thanks Scott :)

Seeing the Value in Others
The following story is from a talk by Vaughn J. Featherstone “A Man After God’s Own Heart”. I found it on my mission and used It often for teaching purposes. I like it because it teaches many valuable principles. My favorite principles to discuss surrounding this story are the potential that we have as God’s children, seeing others as God’s children, drawing out the good in people, and the power of love inspired service. I think the story will speak well enough for itself.

Marian Wright Edelman told the story of Jean Thompson, who was a teacher:

On the first day of school, Jean Thompson told her students, "Boys and girls, I love you all the same." Teachers lie. Little Teddy Stollard was a boy Jean Thompson did not like. He slouched in his chair, didn't pay attention, his mouth hung open in a stupor, his eyes were always unfocused, his clothes were mussed, his hair unkempt, and he smelled. He was an unattractive boy and Jean Thompson didn't like him.

Teachers have records. And Jean Thompson had Teddy's. First grade: "Teddy's a good boy. He shows promise in his work and attitude. But he has a poor home situation." Second grade: "Teddy is a good boy. He does what he is told. But he is too serious. His mother is terminally ill." Third grade: "Teddy is falling behind in his work; he needs help. His mother died this year. His father shows no interest." Fourth grade: "Teddy is in deep waters; he is in need of psychiatric help. He is totally withdrawn."

Christmas came, and the boys and girls brought their presents and piled them on her desk. They were all in brightly colored paper except for Teddy's. His was wrapped in brown paper and held together with scotch tape. And on it, scribbled in crayon, were the words, "For Miss Thompson from Teddy." She tore open the brown paper and out fell a rhinestone bracelet with most of the stones missing and a bottle of cheap perfume that was almost empty. When the other boys and girls began to giggle she had enough sense to put some of the perfume on her wrist, put on the bracelet, hold her wrist up to the children and say, "Doesn't it smell lovely? Isn't the bracelet pretty?" And taking their cue from the teacher, they all agreed.

At the end of the day, when all the children had left, Teddy lingered, came over to her desk and said, "Miss Thompson, all day long, you smelled just like my mother. And her bracelet, that's her bracelet, it looks real nice on you, too. I'm really glad you like my presents." And when he left, she got down on her knees and buried her head in her chair and she begged God to forgive her.

The next day when the children came, she was a different teacher. She was a teacher with a heart. And she cared for all the children, but especially those who needed help. Especially Teddy. She tutored him and put herself out for him.

By the end of the year, Teddy had caught up with a lot of the children and was even ahead of some. Several years later, Jean Thompson got this note:

Dear Miss Thompson:

I'm graduating and I'm second in my high school class. I wanted you to be the first to know. Love, Teddy.

Four years later she got another note:

Dear Miss Thompson:

I wanted you to be the first to know. The university has not been easy, but I like it. Love, Teddy Stollard.

Four years later, there was another note:

Dear Miss Thompson:

As of today, I am Theodore J. Stollard, M.D. How about that? I wanted you to be the first to know. I'm going to be married in July. I want you to come and sit where my mother would have sat, because you're the only family I have. Dad died last year.

And she went and she sat where his mother should have sat because she deserved to be there.

[Deval L. Patrick, "Struggling for Civil Rights Now," Vital Speeches of the Day 61, no. 3 (November 15 1994):93­p;94]

I think that is the kind of thing we talk about when we talk about having a heart like unto God's own heart. Otherwise we'll live like the person in this little verse by Henry Drummond:

I lived for myself, I thought for myself,
For myself, and none beside--
Just as if Jesus had never lived,
As if He had never died.

[The Greatest Thing in the World (New York: Thomas Y. Crowell Company, n.d.), p. 40]


It’s late because we just got home from picking up my Aunt Kristl (my dad’s sister). It’s good to have her with us. It was weird to see the airport again. And I’m going to see it again soon.

The Editor,
Mark

The Daily Honky Tonk 170th Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
170th Edition
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
10:17 PM


This DHT has been sitting on my new MacBook Pro for two days waiting for me to get the address book updated to this computer. Yay! It’s finally done. Which makes me very happy. In the meantime, I’ve also finally gotten a cell phone. I found out that I am without planning scheduled to be in a class with one of my best friends and I’m getting excited to go to school after the holidays. Snow is covering everything and I love it. Maybe I’ll get into the habit of writing more often again. Especially now that things are more convieniently in one place.
Oh, I was trying to figure out how I was going to effectively budget my life without paying too much for a good computer program. I was doing my research and found out that Quicken has a free online service that you can directly attach to your account. I highly recommend it if you are looking for a beginning budgeting program. It has a nice little program that helps you see where you are spending your money and it also has a goals program that allows you to set your budget for items and can send you emails to warn you if your going to go over or are getting close. Just go to www.quicken.com and look for the Quicken Online :)

The ABC’s of My Life
Amy and Alyssa- I saw Alyssa after Thanksgiving and Amy comes home December 18th. It’s good to have my Champaign girls again.

Baptisms- Krysta Hanson and Britt Grove were just recently baptized in the Champaign singles ward. They are both awesome people. . .I’ve enjoyed getting to know them, as I have the rest of the Singles Ward. For purely social reasons, I could definitely stay in the Singles Ward here. Ha ha, but then, something I came to understand better about myself on my mission, is that I could be happy almost anywhere based purely on social things. . ..there are cool people everywhere.

Consuming- How I’ve begun to start to think of my new MacBook Pro and computers in general. In the movie Wall-E we see a place where in future society people live in chairs where they don’t see past the projected computer screen in front of their faces. They are fat, because they can do everything in their chair. They can talk, order things, travel, talk to people, whatever. An increasing amount of my interests and daily activities can be done on a computer. I can write, I can study online courses, go shopping, I can learn new guitar songs (from YouTube and tablature), I can communicate with others, I can do research, and now I don’t need to take a stereo and all my CDs to college to have my music. With so many productive things to do on a computer, and just as many distracting things that are fun like games, movies, and watching whole TV Episodes, I’ve started to feel like its consuming my life. It’s very efficient, and I don’t think I waste as much time as I used to. However, I do often feel like I’ve been in front of it for too long.

Dark Knight, The- The New Batman movie is rather intense. It’s rating includes a statement that it is rated PG-13 for “some menace” . I kind of laughed when I saw that. But I understood that it was referring to the Joker. The movie is very dark and the menace quite disturbing (to me at least). However, I thought it was a genius script. Interestingly, the person who said the most truly profound things were The Joker. The film made poignant remarks on motivations, on right and wrong and where the lines blend, on what is virtue, and on humanity in general. I love how The Joker can’t be bought, whose motivation is for the sake of doing things. If virtue is “doing good for only the sake of doing good”, we see the opposite in a man who doest bad for the very sake of enjoying the bad. The Joker also makes some great points about being in control and out of control. He uses peoples desires to control a situation to accomplish his tasks. When I speak of this movie, I will say that I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love the genious in it. . . .but the darkness of it kept me up watching something more pleasant to return to my insides to a “happy medium” (can someone remind me where that idea is from? “happy medium” I think its from Madeline L’engle’s “A Wrinkle in Time” but I can’t remember.

Ears- I laughed the other day when my Mom told me that I’m definitely the child who has a telephone growing out of his ear. Something we’ve taken into consideration while looking for a cell phone.

Frumpy- Scotts Johns word for me. I’m so excited that he comes home and gets to be my room mate.

Gifts by Ursula K. LeGuin is a really good book that makes some interesting observations about gifts. What is a gift? Is it’s value dependent on the user? It’s a good book, with beautiful prose, and is a short read as well. I highly recommend it. Oh, I guess it would fall under the fiction/fantasy category.

Holiday with Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn addressed one of my favorite expanded insights on the mission. Before I left on the mission, I thought a lot in black and white. I’m quite confident I still think in a lot of black and white. ..but its significantly less. The insight I finally understood was how in many situations there isn’t one right answer ..there are many. For some reason I used to think that as everyone neared perfection, truth would be the basis for there decision, and ultimately, that would mean they would all make the same decision. On my mission I finally came to understand that this is not a cookie cutter plan .. .we are not cookie dough all approaching the same shaped cookie. In our eternal identity there is personality and character and that will always be with us. It doesn’t detract from perfection .... .Joseph Smith taught that the Lord gives us revelation adapted to our circumstances. .. I assume circumstances includes our personalities and those of the people around us. So acting perfectly would not assume that there is one right answer for the situation. .because it changes according to the people. The truths like love, patience, virtue, etc., don’t change. . But revelation helps us to understand how to use those truths in our situation. In Holiday Cary Grant is going to marry, but eventually discovers that his spouse and he have different ideas about finances. At first he tries resolve it by deciding to follow the girl’s philosophy, but then he discovers he can’t really do it and she can’t change for him. In a former time, I would have seen the girl as wrong because my philosophy on life is closer to Cary Grant’s. At this point I recognize both as fine and appropriate for the individual and that the best answer for them was not getting married.

It’s a Wonderful Life- about a week ago we watched this movie as a family. I forgot how much I love this movie. The message is so positive. It just makes you want to get up and enjoy life and bless others lives.

Jimmy John’s- I had my first sandwich from there the other evening. “Subs so fast you’ll freak” means that you don’t sit around in Subway, in fact, I think they generally finished within 20-30 seconds of the order. I was impressed .. . .but as those who were there know, not “obsessed” :)

Kentucky still remains to be one of my favorite places. Nostalgic for sure.

Love is a decision set aside from attraction, enjoyment, and hormones. “Enchanted” makes some great observations on love.

Money- I’m about to go off and be a poor college student! I’m really excited! The other day I was talking to someone about dating (an activity which at this point I find myself a little terrified of) and the girl commented that she didn’t like going on dates unless she was interested. She felt it disingenuous to have someone spending there money on her. I wandered to myself how many girls use guys for there money. And I have to admit, my own philosophies I’m hoping will counter that. I’m don’t want to spend lots of money on dates. I’m not going to have a lot of money, I don’t plan on it, and I don’t want the girl to think otherwise. Financial security is important to me .. .having an excess of money is not. I truly believe that how much money you have is not about how much you earn, but how much you spend. I want to be a teacher, and I want to marry a girl who wants to stay home with the kids. Doing that on a teacher’s salary is going to require good financial skills and a great deal of sacrifice. But with it should come rewards of the simplicity of not having too much in the house and if financially stable then there shouldn’t be concerns for the money. Removing black and white thinking allowed me to see that for some families, and some girl’s personalities it can be very beneficial for them to work. Which allowed me to accept that I can enjoy my own philosophies and others can enjoy theirs.

Not too seriously will I take myself and life. A friend and family member, suggested that I beward of “analysis paralysis”. . .overthinking and freezing up on decisions. I thought it was brilliant :)

Orange Crush- I learned something cool when I was visiting my grandparents for Thanksgiving. Orange Crush used to have real bits of orange in it! Hence the name.

Picking college courses, picking where to live, picking what to do with my life, and in time picking who I will marry. There are a lot more decisions to be made in normal life.

Quests I’m currently on- I want to start a band at BYU. I am on a quest for a good story idea. And I’m on a quest to continue overcoming the irrational thought processes that occasionally plague my existence.

Risk Taking- So I’ve decided its a good idea to take more risks than I have in the past. Some of the more recent risks I’ve taken are riding a motorcycle, attempting to ride a horse after several failed attempts, and well, I was going to go see my first concert. . Then the concert was cancelled due to the singer getting sick . .. Oh well. Its been good for me to do things I wasn’t sure I would be comfortable with. Even little things like watching some episodes of The Office. I was always so careful of every little decision. I don’t think I am as much anymore. The crazy papers helped me see that taking risks helps us to increase our discomfort tolerance and actually know our limitations(instead of assuming them), and it also is helpful to me ridding myself of perfectionism to be able to see things as a success if I tried it. I don’t have to like it or do it well, but I can try it and find out if I like it.

Spectacular Individuals- James Holman and Wilbur Wilberforce. I would like to recommend here a book and a movie. “A Sense of the World” by Jason Roberts is about a blind man named James Holman who traveled the world despite his inability to see. It is a biography and is very well written and very fascinating. “Amazing Grace” is a movie about Wilbur Wilberforce and his fight in Parliament to stop the British Slave Trade. An inspiring true story, that was very tastefully put onto the screen. I mention these two, and I have been thinking about great individuals in general as I have been studying American Heritage and learning about the founders of our nation. I love reading about great people. I admire both James and Wilbur for there fight against great odds, for their perseverance, diligence, and good will towards others. I think when I read about great individuals, it helps me to remember that doing great things is something obtainable. People who are considered great are in reality still just normal people. What separates them is not having any extra ability that allows them to do, but rather that they decide to do despite the odds. Both are truly inspiring tales, and the modern day storytellers of the book and the movie are great.

Three- the number of guys who unnecessarily felt “threatened” by my return from missionary life. Ha ha, that number could actually be four, but three are confirmed. By threat, I am referring to a threat to their relationships. The funny thing was I wasn’t and am not a threat at all. I can’t even really think of myself as a threat :).

University, Brigham Young- I’m getting excited to get out there and start school. I’m looking forward to throw myself into another world.

Virtue, virtue, virtue. . .I read about virtue in my American Heritage book. Virtue was considered by the Socrates, Aristotle, and other ancient thinkers. In the late 1700s through the 1800s virtue was a largely important topic. In “A Sense of the World” and “Amazing Grace” it was evident that virtue was a daily consideration for many of the players and a question often brought up. But now, I wonder what is to become of virtue. Virtue of character would play into so many things if it was more valued in our society. If virtue was considered important Marriage would still be a sacred institution respected before and after the fact. If virtue was still important, Illinois and North Dakota would not be uncovering political corruption. If virtue was still important, The Office would always be funny, entertaining, and CLEAN. If virtue was still important, one could leave the TV on and the only concern would be time spent, not content viewed. If virtue was still important, woman would be respected. If virtue was still important, large businesses would not suffer scandal. If virtue was still important, a man wouldn’t be trampled in a Black Friday’s sales rush. If virtue were still important, missionaries, teachers, Priests, and other various members of society wouldn’t have to tip toe around children and worry about lawsuits fired against them. If virtue were still important, our natural inclination would be to trust rather than to wonder what the “Catch” is.
I think virtue is very important. I don’t think our world is completely lacking of it either. People are still rescued, happy families continue to exist, and honest businessman, politicians, and regular everyday great people exist and consider the tenets of virtue important. But it does not play the same central role in society. A couple examples. .. In Much Ado About Nothing, when Hero is framed as to having lost her carnal virtue, her father in rage says he prefers her dead than alive with the scandal. Its so serious that they pretend she is dead. I’m pretty sure Clinton and Lewinsky did not go into hiding. The character of the individual was valued. Today, character, especially virtue, while valued, especially by employers, is not held to the same high regard in the societies eye. Obama and McCain were never found dueling as Hamilton and Burr despite vicious attacks on one another. (Granted this one may be a stretch. Burr, the winner of the duel ultimately was tried for murder, and although acquitted was unable to continue his political career. In our times, we would not take up an illegal action such as dueling just to defend our reputation.. . Unless your a gangbanger of course. Our virtue and character just doesn’t have that much importance anymore.

Wyatt gets mentioned for just being awesome. And because when I think lonely. . I know his definition of lonely is the closest to mine :)

X is a cross that goes through things to tell you no!

Yesh!!

Zzzzzzzzzzzz’s are still something I avoid :)

The Editor,
MARK

The Daily Honky Tonk 169th Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
169th Edition
November 16, 2008
11:00 PM

Today, Addie(2) decided to put on my deodorant. . . however, instead of applying it underneath the arms, she applied it as lipstick. Luckily, Gideon(8) caught her in the act and was able to report it to mom. If that seems as weird to you as it does to me (and I'll add funny to weird), then you’ll be able to identify with my feelings for this week. This week was weird. Nothing weird happened in particular. . . but I felt weird about many of things that did happen. Maybe I can paint a little picture.

Everyone I talked to this week, for more than a casual five minute conversation, confided something to me about their personal life. Most of those items were of pretty major consequence.

I set up my schedule for classes at BYU. I chose a major and a minor. I want to be an English Major and Minor in Music. It feels right, but I haven’t got down and prayed about it, perhaps because I just feel good about it already. At the same time, I don't feel like I'm leaving for BYU soon.

Firsts since coming home: bought two new CDs, restarted piano lessons, started recording a song on garage band, went to the theater (saw the new James Bond Movie), went bowling, watched a girls hockey game, watched a couple episodes of The Office, went hometeaching, started and finished Twighlight, and renewed my license.

I wrote two articles for this DHT. For those of you who pick and choose what you read, the first is about Emotions, their causes, and how to get past them. The second is a Book Review on Twighlight (If you really really liked Twighlight, don't read my book review).

Thoughts on the ABC Emotional Disorder Theory
After I had been out for about 18 months, my Mission President sent me a packet of about 20 pages of material on Rational Thinking and Perfectionism. There was a page that identified Common Irrational Thinking Patterns, An article about 12 Principles of Rational Thinking, 4 or 5 talks from Apostles addressing concerns about an imbalance in striving for perfection i.e “perfectionism” and a paper about the ABC Emotional Disorder Theory. As a packet in and of itself, I like to call them crazy papers. When I consider changes that have taken place inside of me, while being on a mission, This is one of them. The crazy papers helped me to balance out. They have helped me to think more rationally, act more appropriately, and to deal with emotions that I used to think I couldn’t change. They taught me how to relax and think about things more realistically. The benefits have been very positive.
I ‘m going to focus on one page tonight. I like to review the packet and tell other people, because it helps in a continuing internalization process that I’m going through. This week’s emotion has been “weird”. The theory goes like this:
A (Events and Circumstances) +
B (Thoughts, Attitudes, Beliefs, Perceptions) =
C (Emotions)
“A” is the factor that you generally cannot change. The Event/Circumstance passes through “B”, our perceptions, beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, which causes us to experience emotion “C”. Therefore, the only way to change your emotion, is if you change the belief, attitude, perception or thought. That would seem to be the part where rational thinking principles comes in. As an individual, one needs to figure out which thinking patterns are rational and which aren’t. I often couldn’t identify my own irrationality, because I thought my own perceptions were reality. Thank goodness for a friend on the mission who shed some light when he said that I needed to remember that just because I perceive something one way doesn’t make it truth. I thought about that long and hard.
I do at this point feel that there is a way to overcome feelings. Although, I don’t think it necessary to remove feeling; the scriptures warn us about not getting “past feeling”. By changing irrational thoughts and silly perceptions or beliefs, I’ve been able to remove unnecessary anxieties, fears, obsessions, pains, and other undesirable feelings. However, I would add, that sometimes, to remove the irrational thoughts, it was essential to rely on the Savior and my faith in Him. The Atonement, has a much more powerful eraser than my own intellect and ability. It can change thought patterns, attitudes, perceptions, and believes that are deeper than we can see on our own.
So, the next time you are sitting there, dealing with an undesirable emotion. .I challenge you to take a moment. What is the circumstance or event that is causing the trauma, stress, etc.? What do I believe, perceive or think about this event? Are those thoughts, beliefs, perceptions causing unnecessary pain to myself? What would be a more appropriate thought? Then, dwell on that thought, perception, or belief. Make it yours. And do me one other favor, check that your new belief, perception, attitude, or thought is in line with the Lord’s commandments and laws J.
As a final note, I would like to add, that this kind of change in feeling is not limited to what we consider negative feelings, but to the positive ones as well. Tired of missing somebody? Want to let go of an obsessive crush? Tired of overreacting to something? Try it out.

Book Review- Twilight-by Stephanie Meyer
I caught wind of this book on my mission. LDS Author, Vampire Love Story, and National Bestseller were all I knew about it. Taryn, being the prolific reader, wanted me to read that as soon as I finished Harry Potter and wanted me to go see the movie with her. Someone, I don’t remember who once commented that it was a good book for all genders because it contained a love story and decent action. That statement was true. However, it is not recognized, at least here as a piece of literature that is appropriate reading for both genders; but when have I ever paid attention to what the ominous “them” say.
Now, having read the book, I can’t say that I’m overly impressed. The book wins people over, I believe, on it’s plot. A mix of mystery, romance, adventure, and perhaps a little suspense keeps you moving through its pages. However, it could not pass as a piece of literature. It does not stop to make you ponder any deeper part of life; I had to do my over analysis to get any of that from the book. And as it’s written, well, it’s written, but not well. Granted, I may be harsh because I had just been reading JK Rowling, who I think is an outstanding writer. But, as I discussed with Caleb and Mom, there isn’t anything deep about the book, what you read is what you get.
The most frustrating part to me however, was the relationship of the narrator, Bella, and Edward (her vampire boyfriend). It is an obsessive relationship. They both obsess over each other. Edward, who never sleeps, you come to find out is a stalker. . .he watches her every night. Bella, is obsessive in her thinking patterns. Their interest in each other is built on attraction and is never built on the foundation of a solid friendship. They form the friendship coupled with the obsession. They are often mean to each other, they lack openness and honesty, and they act impulsively despite how they have the appearance of showing great personal restraint.
I don’t know which part disappointed me more, that the writing was poor and didn’t make me think or that it was portraying an unhealthy relationship. Don’t get me completely wrong. In the end, I’ll say I like the book because it’s plot is captivating and the exploration of vampires who don’t eat humans, seems like an original idea. Plus, it’s a short enough read that I couldn’t say it was a waste of time. However, I opted on asking for a brief summary on the rest of the series from my sister rather than reading them on my own. It’s time to move onto other books.

The Editor,
Mark

The Daily Honky Tonk 168th Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
168th Edition
November 9, 2008
7:48PM

It’s taken me a lot longer than I imagined to write a second DHT. I think I imagined that when I got home that I would have lots of time . . . but as I have discovered, I just don’t have it. I haven’t decided to make it a priority. Other things have occupied my time.
As of Yesterday, I’ve been home a month. When I got home, the weather here in Illinois, was the same as that in California. As of today, I’m pretty sure we are entering the cold times. . . at least that’s what snow flurries usually mean.
Some major events of the past couple weeks:
· I’ve integrated into the Singles Ward in Urbana and I love it.
· I finished the 7th Harry Potter Book and enjoyed it very much.
· I’ve spent a collective 10 hours on the phones with various girls J I definitely missed talking with girls. Although, I must say, I think my thoughts on guys and girls have changed. Before, I would have told you that girls are generally angels and guys devils. At this point, I think you can find both guys and girls on all ends of the spectrum.
· I’ve lost five pounds between playing soccer 3 times a week and running 4 miles a day. Five to ten more pounds would be ideal.
· I’ve bought a new wardrobe, to replace white shirts and ties J
· I’ve found out that American Heritage, even as an online course, it very time intensive.
· I enjoyed going to the U of I choir concert last night. I think I may minor in music.
· I watched some of the SNL comedy skits of the Presidential Debates last night, and discovered that I was quite clueless about any of the politics. I didn’t see one single debate. Therefore, much of the comedy, and any real sense of the actual election being important seems beyond me.

Chief Financial Officer for a Day
If you ask me what I think I want to study or major in, my answer is “Education, I want to be a teacher.” But, I still haven’t found myself entirely sure. I decided that since I have some time on my hand, that I would go and find out what exactly my dad does. My dad is the Chief Financial Officer for Carle Hospital. I’ve never known exactly what that entailed. So, I asked if I could go to work one day.
My dad found a day that he thought would show me a variety of what he did and would be most interesting to me. So, this past Wednesday I went to Carle.
The first meeting was a report of the yearly financial statement to a board. The presentation was given for the most part by my dad and one of the guys he works with, Scott. Scott, had taken found me alone in the office a couple moments, and commented that he enjoyed working with my dad because he has good moral sense and is smart. I found the meeting interesting. After the financial statement was made, there were proposals of what actions the hospital could take. Then, the members of the board would vote to decide whether they would take it for approval. I found that very fascinating.
Afterward, we ate a breakfast, provided by the company, and talked with the leading member of the Board and Scott. Over breakfast they talked about the economy, the election, and morals of society. That was an interesting conversation. I enjoyed seeing that two of the men my dad works with are men with values, who are not only hard work individuals, but also who preoccupy themselves with the moral decay of our nation. Another thing I started to see was the level at which politics starts to influence our society and where it can actually have an affect.
Great businessmen, I have noted, are well read individuals. They read about politics, the economy, and many of the things going on in society. They are educated about history, religion, and have a wide range of interests. They are acutely aware of cause and effect, and concern themselves with the better good of society as a whole. I particularly noticed this when I visited the home of a multi-millionaire who lived in Santa Maria. He was a very successful businessman who owned thousands of acres in a variety of places in the world. His house included a gorgeous library with many many books. What caught my attention however, was that the immediate reading materials on his Magazine were Newsweek, The Wall Street Journal, and other various current events articles. I’ve become aware that many successful individuals are those who can identify the many causes and effects that lie underneath the surface and then react and act appropriately. I enjoy listening to educated people talk.
Afterwards, there was a meeting with a Community Board that talked about the different health programs going on in the community. Wide issues, such as grants Carle had given, community perceptions of the services available, and whether different services were being used was discussed. I found the meeting to be very interesting. I love addressing issues and then working together to try and solve them. As a missionary, leadership counsels did exactly that, we addressed issues and talked about solutions. I love that kind of interaction. I decided that one of my goals is to involve my self in the community through some kind of board.
Then, we listened in on training for the compliance department over a telephone conference. I actually listened to two different seminars over phone conference. I thought that was interesting. It wasn’t my favorite way of training, but I became aware that it is common.
Dad and I went out for lunch at Miko’s, an oriental buffet. I enjoyed discussing what I observed and asking for details on some things I didn’t fully understand as an observer.
The last event of the day was a telephone meeting with a rating company, where the hospital was rated. The agency observed the hospital’s statistics and then would talk different things out and listen to the hospital’s plans.
The day was fascinating to me. So much of it was a new world with it’s own lingo; luckily it wasn’t to hard to follow what was going on. I liked the office atmosphere. I’ve always thought that I would. I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s the professional look, or the image of productivity and progress, I’m not really sure. I just liked it.
I’m not sure I would want to be a CFO. But a lot of the skills sets that needed to be used for the job I liked. Specifically that would include; Having a problem, creating, and proposing and discussing a solution; also, Being involved with many different people and departments, I like being involved with lots of individuals. Having the opportunity to be trained and to train employees appeals to me, mainly the idea of continuing education. I think I enjoyed that there seemed to be a variety of things to do and that the conditions were always changing, so it would never get boring.
Spending a day with a CFO was nice. It’s also nice to know what it means when Dad goes to work. Dad going to work is one of those universal concepts where so often, or at least I think, we have a black haze over our mind. It’s a concept, and there reality is something of which we are unaware. However, now, when I think that, Dad is at work, it has significance and there isn’t a black haze in my mind.


Movie Review
Dan in Real Life
Quite frankly, I don’t think that “Dan in Real Life” is a properly named film. I’m not sure what my mind actually conjured from reading the title, but it wasn’t the resulted viewing. However, my rating of the movie, is that it’s a decent watch.
I’ve just realized I don’t like writing reviews. They seem kind of dry. Or maybe, its just that talking about this movie does not leave me to think deeply about much of anything.
Dan in Real Life is a love story about two people who seemingly are perfect for each other in a book store. So the girl disappears; Dan goes to his family reunion, where he is introduced to his brother’s girlfriend, the very same lady he met. An interesting weekend with the family ensues. While the two try and hide there interest. The film is rated PG-13, probably for the two scenes that made me uncomfortable.
The character Dan is played by Steve Carrel and his special interest, Marie is played by Juliette Binoche(Chocolat). I thought they both did a nice job. I was fascinated by Steve Carrel, as near the beginning of my mission, one of the missionaries I served around decided that I look like Steve Carrel. I of course, had no clue who he was talking about. Now, I’m a little less film illiterate and can say I know who Steve Carrel is, and I don’t see all that many similarities.
The one perhaps interesting thing I took from the film was that it reminded me of a conversation with a friend. We talked about two different types of attractions. One is a healthy attraction and the other being an obsession. Healthy attraction is when you like somebody, but you don’t think about them all the time and don’t want to be around them all the time. This allows the two people to become friends and grow into a relationship. Obsession, is less healthy and usually leads to the parties moving at a more rapid pace, without establishing a great friendship first. Dan’s of course was an obsession. It ate him inside; he acted abnormally, and got jealous. It did not lead to healthy emotions or actions. Watching out for that kind of difference in attraction seems important to me as one comes more out of desire (obsession) and the other out of sincere interest that grows and can see the pros and cons before acting. If one decides to act quickly, they can find themselves in a relationship that isn’t that compatible. The other one will have a greater chance of deciding not to enter a relationship that isn’t compatible. On a risk/benefits, my personal feeling would be that you are better becoming friends. Leave out obsession, and then, become friends. One can “fall in love” with somebody who they aren’t really compatible with. Better to decide that before getting emotionally attached.

Letters to the Editor
I recieved a lot of emails saying hello welcom home. Unless there seemed to be pressing questions, I didn't respond to many of them. Although, I did read them and I'm excited to hear from family and friends and to see that your lives continue to move forward in joyous and exciting ways. I still am getting back into the swing of things as you all can tell. This is only my second DHT. I hope to write a little more frequently, though I find myself somewhat nervous to do so. Without the practice, I feel the writing doesn't flow as easily, but I know that will come in time.

Oh, and hopefully, I've changed everyone's addresses who asked me too. But its possible I didn't. If you did send me a message asking me to send the DHT to a different address. Please send me an email again, as I am currently under the belief that I have changed them all. :)

An Interesting Website about a World War II Escape Tunnel
http://www.kerman94.com/tunnelharry.html

For those of you who are bloggers, DHTs will also be posted on
http://dhtmaster.blogspot.com/

The Editor,
Mark

The Daily Honky Tonk 167th Edition

The Daily Honky Tonk
167th Edition
October 19, 2008
7:33 PM
Thanks go to the Guest Editor for maintaining an occasional update. Though he comments that it has been a year since he sent one. The DHT proved to be an undertaking that wasn't for the mission. And now that I am back, I have avoided writing one knowing that it would be a time consuming and perhaps an interesting session of writing.I find leaving behind two years of something incredible. Something that words can't fully explain. Words never could quite explain the Spirit of the Lord. We always try and define it by saying that it comes in your thoughts and your feelings.. . but it's the spirit. It's not a specific emotion or a specific thought, it is its own entity. And yet, the other day I was at the Church playing early morning soccer and Brother Smith commented that he remembered how a couple days after his mission he had to read his journal to make sure that it really happened. And in some ways, I feel the same. My goal in this edition is not to define my mission or to share all the things I learned, the countless experiences or the profound depth of change I see in myself and in others. However, in the coming months, perhaps I can capture a little of what I saw. Perhaps you can see I lack direction in where I should begin. Perhaps I'll start at the end.
Coming Home
On October 8, 2008 around 8:00 PM I arrived in the Champaign airport. Six hours of travel was the most time I had spent alone in two years. But I learned something on my mission. . that is too RELAX. I complicate things without relaxation. The time passed quickly. I stayed in the moment. I was not preoccupied about what ifs and how will this play out. The only nervous anxious moment was approaching the escalator where I knew I would see my family. Family. My family. They've grown. Especially Addie and Caleb. Addie went from 4 months to two years and four months. Caleb of course is now taller than me. Nathan has improved reading. Gideon gives me the biggest hugs. Taryn now has some college under her belt and has learned many valuable lessons. Mom and Dad, perhaps a little more gray in the hair, but young, vibrant, full of energy, and the Gospel is still the center of the home.So in the airport were long awaited hugs and then after being released and in classic Tonkinson family style, we went for Custard. The main question I get is "How do you feel? " How are you adjusting? "How was your mission?" My answer for all three unspecifically is amazingly. I thought the adjustment back to normal life would be super hard. Learning to relax has paid off. There of course are things that are weird. When you are called to represent the Lord, you are entitled to a closeness to the Lord that is unlike anything else. Spiritual guidance is much easier to receive. I kind of described it to my parents, that now that I'm not a missionary, I feel like I'm suffocating. Like I used to breath in lots of air (the spirit) and that now, I'm breathing it through a straw. But, I am no longer called to do the same thing, therefore I am not permitted the same privileges. Not exactly the same anyway. The spirit is still present, but not as constant.Hearing music was weird. Watching my first movie after being home for a week was weird. Finding out that I could connect so quickly to thousands of people on Facebook is crazy. Having a robot that cleans our kitchen floor was confusing. Typing on an Apple is different. I don't have the same amount of purpose anymore. I have the purpose of preparing to meet my God. But, well, when you are on full time service for the Lord, every day is filled with purpose, everything you do is for His kingdom. And at home, you can do a lot of that. But much of what I do now lacks significance. There is much I must take care of. . .but it has little to do with helping others to come closer to Christ. Suddenly a rush of emotions comes back. Hmmm. .. let me try and define this. On the mission, the Spirit would come and remove irrationalities and because your separate from music and movies and much other media, you are disattached. . .i think that's the word. But I still can't decide. They say returned missionaries are weird for a while. . .and I can tell that I am. It's alright.
Returning to Writing
The above parts of the DHT was written I believe on Thursday. It is now Sunday. As I started to write a DHT I found the emotions connected a little strange and stopped. However, I spent the last couple hours rereading Harry Potter 6 (I couldn't remember it well enough to start book 7). J.K. Rowling is such a talented writer that I desired to sit down at the keyboard again and go at it. Today I gave my homecoming talk in Church. I talked about Missionary Work and the Gathering of Israel and I talk the Priest's Quorum class about Preach My Gospel, the missionary guidebook that gives great insight to studying, teaching, and becoming converted by the spirit. Last night I attended a singles ward party. I was pleased with myself. I introduced myself to everyone there and it wasn't too terribly awkward. Yet, I could sense my own weirdness as a returned missionary. .. .. returned missionary? Those words are almost too weird. Their implications are great. I completed one more of the adventures I spent my life planning for and it also means the next is impending.. .finding my next companion might we say. I once again find myself in limbo. Like the waiting place in Dr. Suess's book "Oh the Places You'll Go". Yet, I've decided to keep myself occupied. I'm taking a couple independent study classes through BYU to get ahead on credits before I go to BYU. I think I may look for a job. . .perhaps through the school district. Over the past two years, my mind has become more and more warm to the idea of teaching. It seems to call to me, though I still have my doubts. My personal feeling is that for me it would be a very rewarding job that I could enjoy. My questions hinge somewhat on supporting a family. Well, I guess that's all I have for now. To my friends in California, you have now become recipients of the DHT. This is pretty much my first contact with most of you. To you each I say hello and send my love. As a side note this DHT is formatted differently than normally. Usually I try and share things that might invite discussion from others. As I have not written any DHTs in two years, there are no responses to share. But feel free to share your thoughts and feelings as DHTs come your way. I also look forward to enjoying the commentaries and connections with old friends. If anyone has specific questions they would like me to address in the upcoming DHTs, feel free to send questions my way.
The Editor, Mark