The Daily Honky Tonk
167th Edition
October 19, 2008
7:33 PM
Thanks go to the Guest Editor for maintaining an occasional update. Though he comments that it has been a year since he sent one. The DHT proved to be an undertaking that wasn't for the mission. And now that I am back, I have avoided writing one knowing that it would be a time consuming and perhaps an interesting session of writing.I find leaving behind two years of something incredible. Something that words can't fully explain. Words never could quite explain the Spirit of the Lord. We always try and define it by saying that it comes in your thoughts and your feelings.. . but it's the spirit. It's not a specific emotion or a specific thought, it is its own entity. And yet, the other day I was at the Church playing early morning soccer and Brother Smith commented that he remembered how a couple days after his mission he had to read his journal to make sure that it really happened. And in some ways, I feel the same. My goal in this edition is not to define my mission or to share all the things I learned, the countless experiences or the profound depth of change I see in myself and in others. However, in the coming months, perhaps I can capture a little of what I saw. Perhaps you can see I lack direction in where I should begin. Perhaps I'll start at the end.
Coming Home
On October 8, 2008 around 8:00 PM I arrived in the Champaign airport. Six hours of travel was the most time I had spent alone in two years. But I learned something on my mission. . that is too RELAX. I complicate things without relaxation. The time passed quickly. I stayed in the moment. I was not preoccupied about what ifs and how will this play out. The only nervous anxious moment was approaching the escalator where I knew I would see my family. Family. My family. They've grown. Especially Addie and Caleb. Addie went from 4 months to two years and four months. Caleb of course is now taller than me. Nathan has improved reading. Gideon gives me the biggest hugs. Taryn now has some college under her belt and has learned many valuable lessons. Mom and Dad, perhaps a little more gray in the hair, but young, vibrant, full of energy, and the Gospel is still the center of the home.So in the airport were long awaited hugs and then after being released and in classic Tonkinson family style, we went for Custard. The main question I get is "How do you feel? " How are you adjusting? "How was your mission?" My answer for all three unspecifically is amazingly. I thought the adjustment back to normal life would be super hard. Learning to relax has paid off. There of course are things that are weird. When you are called to represent the Lord, you are entitled to a closeness to the Lord that is unlike anything else. Spiritual guidance is much easier to receive. I kind of described it to my parents, that now that I'm not a missionary, I feel like I'm suffocating. Like I used to breath in lots of air (the spirit) and that now, I'm breathing it through a straw. But, I am no longer called to do the same thing, therefore I am not permitted the same privileges. Not exactly the same anyway. The spirit is still present, but not as constant.Hearing music was weird. Watching my first movie after being home for a week was weird. Finding out that I could connect so quickly to thousands of people on Facebook is crazy. Having a robot that cleans our kitchen floor was confusing. Typing on an Apple is different. I don't have the same amount of purpose anymore. I have the purpose of preparing to meet my God. But, well, when you are on full time service for the Lord, every day is filled with purpose, everything you do is for His kingdom. And at home, you can do a lot of that. But much of what I do now lacks significance. There is much I must take care of. . .but it has little to do with helping others to come closer to Christ. Suddenly a rush of emotions comes back. Hmmm. .. let me try and define this. On the mission, the Spirit would come and remove irrationalities and because your separate from music and movies and much other media, you are disattached. . .i think that's the word. But I still can't decide. They say returned missionaries are weird for a while. . .and I can tell that I am. It's alright.
Returning to Writing
The above parts of the DHT was written I believe on Thursday. It is now Sunday. As I started to write a DHT I found the emotions connected a little strange and stopped. However, I spent the last couple hours rereading Harry Potter 6 (I couldn't remember it well enough to start book 7). J.K. Rowling is such a talented writer that I desired to sit down at the keyboard again and go at it. Today I gave my homecoming talk in Church. I talked about Missionary Work and the Gathering of Israel and I talk the Priest's Quorum class about Preach My Gospel, the missionary guidebook that gives great insight to studying, teaching, and becoming converted by the spirit. Last night I attended a singles ward party. I was pleased with myself. I introduced myself to everyone there and it wasn't too terribly awkward. Yet, I could sense my own weirdness as a returned missionary. .. .. returned missionary? Those words are almost too weird. Their implications are great. I completed one more of the adventures I spent my life planning for and it also means the next is impending.. .finding my next companion might we say. I once again find myself in limbo. Like the waiting place in Dr. Suess's book "Oh the Places You'll Go". Yet, I've decided to keep myself occupied. I'm taking a couple independent study classes through BYU to get ahead on credits before I go to BYU. I think I may look for a job. . .perhaps through the school district. Over the past two years, my mind has become more and more warm to the idea of teaching. It seems to call to me, though I still have my doubts. My personal feeling is that for me it would be a very rewarding job that I could enjoy. My questions hinge somewhat on supporting a family. Well, I guess that's all I have for now. To my friends in California, you have now become recipients of the DHT. This is pretty much my first contact with most of you. To you each I say hello and send my love. As a side note this DHT is formatted differently than normally. Usually I try and share things that might invite discussion from others. As I have not written any DHTs in two years, there are no responses to share. But feel free to share your thoughts and feelings as DHTs come your way. I also look forward to enjoying the commentaries and connections with old friends. If anyone has specific questions they would like me to address in the upcoming DHTs, feel free to send questions my way.
The Editor, Mark
167th Edition
October 19, 2008
7:33 PM
Thanks go to the Guest Editor for maintaining an occasional update. Though he comments that it has been a year since he sent one. The DHT proved to be an undertaking that wasn't for the mission. And now that I am back, I have avoided writing one knowing that it would be a time consuming and perhaps an interesting session of writing.I find leaving behind two years of something incredible. Something that words can't fully explain. Words never could quite explain the Spirit of the Lord. We always try and define it by saying that it comes in your thoughts and your feelings.. . but it's the spirit. It's not a specific emotion or a specific thought, it is its own entity. And yet, the other day I was at the Church playing early morning soccer and Brother Smith commented that he remembered how a couple days after his mission he had to read his journal to make sure that it really happened. And in some ways, I feel the same. My goal in this edition is not to define my mission or to share all the things I learned, the countless experiences or the profound depth of change I see in myself and in others. However, in the coming months, perhaps I can capture a little of what I saw. Perhaps you can see I lack direction in where I should begin. Perhaps I'll start at the end.
Coming Home
On October 8, 2008 around 8:00 PM I arrived in the Champaign airport. Six hours of travel was the most time I had spent alone in two years. But I learned something on my mission. . that is too RELAX. I complicate things without relaxation. The time passed quickly. I stayed in the moment. I was not preoccupied about what ifs and how will this play out. The only nervous anxious moment was approaching the escalator where I knew I would see my family. Family. My family. They've grown. Especially Addie and Caleb. Addie went from 4 months to two years and four months. Caleb of course is now taller than me. Nathan has improved reading. Gideon gives me the biggest hugs. Taryn now has some college under her belt and has learned many valuable lessons. Mom and Dad, perhaps a little more gray in the hair, but young, vibrant, full of energy, and the Gospel is still the center of the home.So in the airport were long awaited hugs and then after being released and in classic Tonkinson family style, we went for Custard. The main question I get is "How do you feel? " How are you adjusting? "How was your mission?" My answer for all three unspecifically is amazingly. I thought the adjustment back to normal life would be super hard. Learning to relax has paid off. There of course are things that are weird. When you are called to represent the Lord, you are entitled to a closeness to the Lord that is unlike anything else. Spiritual guidance is much easier to receive. I kind of described it to my parents, that now that I'm not a missionary, I feel like I'm suffocating. Like I used to breath in lots of air (the spirit) and that now, I'm breathing it through a straw. But, I am no longer called to do the same thing, therefore I am not permitted the same privileges. Not exactly the same anyway. The spirit is still present, but not as constant.Hearing music was weird. Watching my first movie after being home for a week was weird. Finding out that I could connect so quickly to thousands of people on Facebook is crazy. Having a robot that cleans our kitchen floor was confusing. Typing on an Apple is different. I don't have the same amount of purpose anymore. I have the purpose of preparing to meet my God. But, well, when you are on full time service for the Lord, every day is filled with purpose, everything you do is for His kingdom. And at home, you can do a lot of that. But much of what I do now lacks significance. There is much I must take care of. . .but it has little to do with helping others to come closer to Christ. Suddenly a rush of emotions comes back. Hmmm. .. let me try and define this. On the mission, the Spirit would come and remove irrationalities and because your separate from music and movies and much other media, you are disattached. . .i think that's the word. But I still can't decide. They say returned missionaries are weird for a while. . .and I can tell that I am. It's alright.
Returning to Writing
The above parts of the DHT was written I believe on Thursday. It is now Sunday. As I started to write a DHT I found the emotions connected a little strange and stopped. However, I spent the last couple hours rereading Harry Potter 6 (I couldn't remember it well enough to start book 7). J.K. Rowling is such a talented writer that I desired to sit down at the keyboard again and go at it. Today I gave my homecoming talk in Church. I talked about Missionary Work and the Gathering of Israel and I talk the Priest's Quorum class about Preach My Gospel, the missionary guidebook that gives great insight to studying, teaching, and becoming converted by the spirit. Last night I attended a singles ward party. I was pleased with myself. I introduced myself to everyone there and it wasn't too terribly awkward. Yet, I could sense my own weirdness as a returned missionary. .. .. returned missionary? Those words are almost too weird. Their implications are great. I completed one more of the adventures I spent my life planning for and it also means the next is impending.. .finding my next companion might we say. I once again find myself in limbo. Like the waiting place in Dr. Suess's book "Oh the Places You'll Go". Yet, I've decided to keep myself occupied. I'm taking a couple independent study classes through BYU to get ahead on credits before I go to BYU. I think I may look for a job. . .perhaps through the school district. Over the past two years, my mind has become more and more warm to the idea of teaching. It seems to call to me, though I still have my doubts. My personal feeling is that for me it would be a very rewarding job that I could enjoy. My questions hinge somewhat on supporting a family. Well, I guess that's all I have for now. To my friends in California, you have now become recipients of the DHT. This is pretty much my first contact with most of you. To you each I say hello and send my love. As a side note this DHT is formatted differently than normally. Usually I try and share things that might invite discussion from others. As I have not written any DHTs in two years, there are no responses to share. But feel free to share your thoughts and feelings as DHTs come your way. I also look forward to enjoying the commentaries and connections with old friends. If anyone has specific questions they would like me to address in the upcoming DHTs, feel free to send questions my way.
The Editor, Mark
No comments:
Post a Comment